26 f and pls read my story if it sounds similar or if you want someone to talk to. I'm here for you
Big reason why I dont have proper mates before someone on here judges me. From when I was a young teen coming from a immigrant family that was really strict on everything. I formed maladaptive day dreaming as a result of having no mates and strict fam. I watched hella animes, kpop, and etc and shoved my head in those. As I grew up I decided to be more confident and tried to make friends. Unfortunately ur girl had social issues, for example I can't stay quiet and needed to fill.in the silence every time they went on the phone. I had issues with them not being who I wanted them to be ( again my issue), had commitment issues because of burn out and stress, self sabotage as I'm again never fully.committed. A big ones was trauma dumping, I trauma dumped a lot, I was extemeley negative growing up and was really damaged in my head. Again, I'm not.proud of all tht trauma dumping at all. It was a tactic to not feel alone and feel alive. But reallly it was just driving me in the depression further. basically growing up I had no proper mates. I kept going back to myself cus I felt safe. I got married at 21 and got a partner who is my life. As in they are my best friends in everything. But I have grown and realised that I do in fact want actually friends or friend. I want to broaden my horizons and actually heal myself from my past and make an actually relationship with somebody who I can be myself and be loyal to. My personally is bit fucked like I'm quite dark humour kinda gal and I love cartoons like gumball and etc. I read lots of mangas and play games all the time. I love being with people actually and I do want yo show that person this is me and if they will ever decide they want to accept me and be with me also. No presh tho lmao I've already been this long with any mates lol.