u/D_aria505

Since I finished the book, (about 2 months) I've been wondering and I haven't found any answer anywhere. It's a little silly, nothing significant, but I have a problem with the pills that Kaine and Helena take. What are they taking? Does anyone know? An explanation, I mean, beyond the text, and why?

Well, actually it's more than a simple question, I hope I'm being somewhat coherent.

So, 1) What pills does give Kaine to Helena to annihilate her fears. But the real question is, why does he treat her differently while she's under the effects of them? He says he has no charm to upset her when she can't be upset. But something makes me think there's another explanation.

2. What kind of pills does Kaine take (the same as Helena before ? ) when the SA occurs.... If they are the same why does he go to the bathroom to throw up? Shouldn't they have blocked his emotions too ?

3. Where does Kaine get the stone to give her at the end of the first part to help her withstand the pregnancy ?

If anyone has any ideas or answers, thanks in advance.

A month has passed since I closed the book. Since then, there is not a day that I don't think about it at least a little. And in all that time, I have read 3 other books. And I can't stop. I have to keep reading, without a break, otherwise, I would think even more....And for a while, I've come to the conclusion that this book is like a toxic boyfriend. It's there, it hurts you, you know you have to move on, but you're always with the hand on your phone and at any moment you can give in and reach out to call him. I have the book physically, and on the reader in two languages. Simply when I pass by the library where the book is, something draws me and I want to open it. But then I know I would be looking for the deepest passages, the ones that destroyed my heart, and it would be like starting over. When I open the reader I know it's there, just a click away, but I have to move on. I don't have experience in toxic relationships, but that's exactly how I feel. I want to move on, but I want to stay with the two protagonists. To hold them in my arms a little longer.... I know that many people have gone through or are going through the same situations.... Is there a way out of this? Or are we stuck here ? What can I do?

Yes, I know, you've all read this book already. It's been almost a year since it was published, but I just finished the book right now and I have so much to say... and yet the words seem hard to choose.

There are books and characters that you devour, and then there are others, like Alchemised and Kaine Ferron, that devour you.

............

Today, a week after I finishing the book, I think I can develop some conclusions, of a process of putting in order and accepting more than 1000 devastating pages.

First of all, I am not a fan of dark, gothic, fantasy, romance (or whatever other people categorize this book), nor of Harry Potter fanfics or the Harry Potter universe. I know nothing about Dramione and I haven't read or known about the existence of Manacled. I never read HP books, and I've only seen the first 3 movies.

Therefore, for me, Kaine and Helena are two characters who can only exist in their own world.

Also, this book didn't make me dive into the universe of books of this type, I'm not looking to just relive the emotions caused, I don't want to swap the KaineHelena pair, with other doomed lovers. It's simply not the kind of thing I look for or appreciate. But that only puts Alchemised on a special shelf, alongside a few other books that remain dear to me and that I would reread at any time...

Therefore, having said that, all the criticisms of the book by other readers, regarding everything I have written so far, (fantasy gothic romance or not, Harry Potter Universe, fanfiction, Manacled ) aren't found valid, in my opinion.

One last note, I read this book in English, which is not my native language. At points where I had problems, I read in Italian, which is also not my native language. But it's the language I speak every day. By far, I recommend reading it in English. The characters' emotions are felt, these are actually palpable, much more and much better than in translations. Why did I say this, because I read negative reviews regarding the ways of expression, the annoying repetitions, generally, the clumsiness of the writing. I didn't find it was a problem with this, either, I repeat, maybe because I'm not a native English speaker. The only word I noticed that was overused was the verb rise.(rose)

SPOILER ALERT!!!

For those who haven't read it yet, from here on, stay out ! I'm afraid there will be a lot of spoilers. It's essential to read this book, without knowing anything about it beforehand.

So let's get started.

PART ONE

In the first 2-3 chapters, all I did was wonder what it was about, and feel somehow like I was in the middle of something that has already started a long time ago....

And also, to tell my stomach that everything is fine, that there's no need for nausea.

Spoiler...

Then, shy but imposing, appears The High Reeve:

"Across the room, by the windows, stood a dark figure. (...) He turned. Helen's throat closed as the world around her vanished, footsteps faltering. (...)

The war is over. What is it you think you're protecting in that brain of yours? (...) There's no one left for you to save. "

Maybe these words don't mean anything at first, but after you finish the second part of the book, these words hurt extremely.

Already from chapter 5 you start to have doubts, to perceive and feel that Kaine Ferron doesn't make sense.

" Industrious as always" he said. ... So he already knows her?

What's here ? Who is Ferron anyway ? By the end of the first part, I was convinced that Helena and Ferron were once, something else. Even more, I wanted to be right about this.

"Helena, he said softly. (...) Oh, Marino, If I'd know what pain you'd cause me, I never would taken you. (...) But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn, I wonder if you'll burn, too".

"I don't trust you to be conscious right now, he said. I'm so sorry."

Someone put themselves in his place, not just hers ??? ....

A piece of advice, for those who have already read the book once, read it a second time, thinking about Him. Put yourself in HiS place, especially in the first and third parts of the book. Please ! He deserves this. Because history at the end of the war is, in my opinion, more unfair to him than to Helena. Because Helena never wanted to be known or famous. Neither did he. But, it's just one thing to not be mentioned at all and quite another to write untrue things just to put him in the worst possible light.

Criticism of the book by some readers, condemned the rape and condemned him... Well, weren't we here in a gothic dark fantasy romance ? Isn't that common in this type of literature?

Have any of you had sex with your lifelong partner when you didn't feel like it, but did it for his/her sake (for your partner)? No ? Never ? If it does, is it still rape ?

Kaine didn't want this, Helena didn't want this. Kaine didn't want the child, because of how she was created. And yet, what alternative does he have ? To let her, to be raped by anyone, anytime, however much, in the Central. What can I say, thank you Kaine Ferron for choosing to sacrifice your mental healt....

Honestly, if Helena could and understood to see his gesture exactly like that, I don't understand why the rest of the readers can't get over it....

Whoever says he makes totally wrong moral choices, I'm sure they doesn't know what war means. They doesn't know what it means to kill or be killed, without time to think, without the right to appeal. Kaine is a soldier, and in army the feelings can't come first. However, with the help of array and the advantages of being Undying, with his brilliant mind, he manages to survive.

So please, stop saying that Kaine Ferron is a flawed character, or exaggerated. He's just perfect in the context.

The moments which impressed me or that broke my heart in the first part of the book would be, the meeting of the two (Kaine and Helena) with Morrough, the moment when Kaine "fixes" her eye, his kiss with Aurelia, looking Helena in the eyes. And the candor with which he takes care of her after she becomes pregnant.

"-Who are you ? She slurred through her teeth.

Myriad emotions flashed across his face. He opened his mouth, then shut it firmly.

- I'm in charge of your care, he finally said very slowly.

(...)

-Do I know you? She asked.

-I suppose you do."

And, again, after you finish reading part two, that:

" -Why don't you die?

-Prior commitments, I'm afraid" from part one, is devastating....

Also, chapter 15. Just so important and heartbreaking, after you read part two and start to understand the true meaning of Kaine's words in this chapter....

So, let's move on to the second part.

The PART TWO, for me, meant the confirmation of everything I hoped and intuited in the first part. But also the awareness of the irony of fate, of carrying them through the same stages and moments, conversations (altered, obviously), after everything they had experienced up to that point. Of course, returning to the first part and putting them in balance..

Their "first kiss" moments, the first time in Abeyance (second part) equivalent to the "first kiss" in the first part that happens in Ascendance.

Also :

"-You are full of surprises, he added.

-Do you say that to every girl?"

II part : "-Close your eyes. (...) she came apart under him."

I part: "-Close your eyes, he said. (...)

-Don't open your eyes. (...)

" - Breathe, he said near her left ear. "

I part: "Ferron always comes for me"

"Ferron will come. Ferron will come. The words ran through her mind in a relentless loop."

II part: "He was looking for her. He'd come for her. He always did"

II'm not sure which moments is the most painful in part two, but certainly when Kaine cries in Helena arms and says he can't take again to care of someone, it's one of them, maybe the hardest....

"I can't - I can't - he kept saying over and over. (...) I can't - I can't do this again-he finally gasped out. I can't care for someone again, I can't take it."

And just to be prepared, for the devastating part 3, comes the line "and the ring burn again and again and again."

And here we are. At the PART THREE, where all the emotions, all the attempts not to cry while reading, go down the drain, because that's the part where I cried the most in this book. All their pain, Kaine's pain, the fear that it would all end in the most horrible way, it just breaks you.

Every line in this third part, every chapter, is a fight for survival, yours as a reader, theirs as characters, their shattered relationship which they must piece together and restore a meaning to.....

"-Helena, I'm tired."....

"That's what it had been. Making love. It was what they'd had."

If part 1 and part 2 was a roller coaster, part 3 feels like you're in free fall.

I have to admit that even though I hate spoilers, around chapter 72, I couldn't take it anymore, and went to the end just to look for Kaine's name in the lines. If he exists, somehow he survives. And that was all that mattered....

And again.

"-Helena, Helena, breath. Look at me. I'm going to be careful. I'm not going to let anything take me from you."

And then,

"Helena, look at you. You have broken yourself into peaces, over and over, because of me, and you don't seems to understand that it kills me. Living is not worth it to me if you're the one who keeps paying the price for it."

" Don't die, Keine. She kept saying "

" - That's your plan? All this time and you've gone with the same plan of hiding me somewhere and getting yourself killed as a traitor, (...)

-Do you have a better solution, for us this time too? After all, not every single horror that I've ever imagined has happened to you yet. Losing you and spending fourteen months trying and failing to find you. Finally getting you back, tortured and broken. Keeping you prisoner-the transference - raping you -. (...) is this not enough? There are, undoubtedly, still unexplored depths to the potential misery between us. Shall we endeavour to achieve all of it? "

" - I'd do it all again, every second, to save you.

-You didn't save me, he said when he was finally capable of speech. You just put us in hell for two years"

"-Didn't you get my note ? I love you. (...)

I love you. And I always will. Always.

(...)

"I love you! I love you! I love you!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I did to you, he said, his voice hoarse and broken. I love you. You left, and I'd never told you"

"-Your heart could fail, and if I'm not here, you'll be gone. Just like... He went silent. Don't do this to me.

-But I have to save you.

-No. You don't. And you can't. You are the only person who has never understood that."

As I said, each line digs deeper into each one, readers and characters.

So, let's said what I didn't like about this 1000 + page journey.

1. What this book lacks in my opinion is music. I can't associate any songs at any of the moments. There's only one song that makes me think of Kaine Ferron.. Behind blue eyes by Limp Bizkit. The fact that everything happens during the war shouldn't be an excuse for having absolutely no escape, no passion, no moment where the characters do anything else, not just war. You can tell me that Helena collects plants and seems to like reading, but Kaine ? Or the others ? He's a soldier, but even they have passions. Until he meets Helena, he just seems to be operating on autopilot. Erasing anything that could have defined him as a person.

2. I also didn't particularly like everything that happens from the moment they flee Paladia. It's not that I don't like the ending, it's just that it feels like the paper is running out. That the author doesn't have time to elaborate on anything, anymore. Everything is rushed. And it's the exact opposite of what Helena and Kaine want and finally have. They have time. They finally have time.

3. Also, the little that is described about their life in Etras, it seems like they traveled through time and they're living in the 2000s. How they raise their daughter, how they talk to her, how Kaine treats Enid, it happens in this world, not in the world they come from.

4. And if we got here, I don't like the way Enid is built. I don't like that she judges her parents. I know it's normal, she's a teenager, but to say that she can't talk to them, about their past, as if they are too weak, too sensitive and unworthy to satisfy all her, otherwise normal, curiosities, is not fair. She judges them. And I don't like that about her at all. To say, "I don't know what I'd do without you and Aunt Lila. I think you're the only person who knows me".is like betraying them.

5. And in the end, what, in my opinion, represents a plot hole is the fact that Morrough doesn't recognize Helena when she and Kaine go to him, after he had already met her, a little over a year ago, and they had the power struggle inside Luc.

And I've reached the end of my review (I've never done another review this long before) . If anyone is still here and has read this far, thank you.

In addition, I am very grateful to the author, who, for the mental sake of an overwhelming majority, had the good will, to save Kaine Ferron, from the destiny he so stubbornly planned for himself