Alright so I (23F), have been stressing out a lot about the future. I am currently on my third year of college taking a major (Biology) that I absolutely despise because as a STEM class it has to have complex math problems and abstract concepts everywhere (I am only good at elementary algebra and geometry and can multiply only to 12) and because as I found out after doing some research, a Biology degree on its own is arguably the most useless STEM degree because it's only useful for getting another degree and wasting more years of your life that you will never get back.
While I do have a passion for things like digital art (usually that of characters), I know right off the bat that it will never be good enough to be noticed (because I haven't been able to learn much of the fundamentals and I have read that unless you learn them, your art will always look bad even if it seems okay). That and my parents laughed in my face when I told them that I originally wanted to go to art school.
But other than all of that, I basically am useless at absolutely everything except for wasting oxygen and being a burden to everyone around me. I can't do office jobs because I only know how to use Word, PowerPoint, and Outlook while most office careers use things like OneNote and Excel (I fucking hate Excel). I don't know how to drive, and I can't really lift heavy things. I have terrible social skills and I bet everyone around me secretly dislikes me and is just too nice to tell me.
OnlyFans also isn't an option for me because I have a very plain appearance (which in the world of OF is basically the same thing as ugly) and the pay is abysmal (unless you are already famous, you will probably earn on average around 140$ to 180$ per month, which is less than what you can earn working at a damn grocery store). Getting married and becoming a housewife is also not an option for similar reasons (I look plain which to many guys is the same thing as ugly, especially with the rise of Instagram and OF models) and because I never learned how to become "wifey material" (I can't cook things like sourdough from scratch and I am too opinionated).
Now before you all come here with a few questions and statements, let me answer them right off the bat.
• Do you have ADHD/Depression? Yes, I was diagnosed with both. As much as I'd love to get therapy, unfortunately finding a good and affordable therapist where I live is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
• How about you join the military? Thanks but no thanks, I don't like murdering children in third world countries.
• You're just being hard on yourself, I'm sure you're good at something! I appreciate the enthusiasm but I'm not here to fish for compliments. And besides my low self-esteem is gonna filter them out anyway.
• Just drop out of college if you don't like it! If I do that I'll get kicked out from my parents house, so I'm honestly getting a "shut-up" degree to get them off my back.
• Learn to code, it's so easy! I tried doing that several times in the past, and it was only on Scratch. Nowadays I basically forgot everything I learned back then.
• Show us your art portfolio, it surely isn't that bad! I prefer to separate my art accounts and personal accounts because it's better for my mental health so I'm probably not gonna do that. But I can describe my art style as comic book/manga inspired, and I typically draw people (I don't know if I can draw furries lol).
Anyways, sorry if this post comes off as venty but it's something that's been bothering me especially with how much of a shit-hole the world is getting.