Crossed the 1-yr mark today
Long one...
TLDR; quit a year ago when I stumbled upon a @donhood post while doomscrolling looking for explanations why I was experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, high heart rate, and a myriad of other symptoms folks have shared on this sub. This was the single hardest thing I've ever done but I'm glad I did it. I made it through and you can too.
My advice, in order of importance (opinions - not medical advice):
- Go get checked by your doctor if you're experiencing anxiety, panic, or any other odd sensations to rule things out
- Understand that you spent years walking into the forrest, don't expect to be "back to normal" quickly. Maybe you will be, but come to terms with the fact that it's going to take the time it takes
- Clean up your diet and hydrate (exercise if you can - even walking 3-4 times a week for 45-min helps)
- Highly recommend starting a meditation practice. 5-10 minutes a day is better than nothing, you're likely going to experience some odd things along this journey and connecting with your body can only help. Mindfulness, open awareness, or body scans would be my recommendations
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Long version -
Lifelong athlete, healthy, eat generally well, and had no major health issues (mental or physical) prior to about a year ago. Started chewing Cope long cut in 2011 (can a day), switched to Zyn 6mg around 2015 (can a day), dropped to 3mg around 2019 (can a day), and continued with that 3mg can a day until June 2025.
Early 2025 I started having weird heart palpitations, panic attacks, anxiety, and other weird symptoms that I was doing my best to bury. Eventually, I just couldn't hold them in anymore and was having 3-4 panic attacks a day with horrible background anxiety that was starting to impact my day to day. On my couch one night after leaving a vacation early due to aforementioned issues, stumbled upon this subreddit (Donhood post) and spit what would be my last Zyn out immediately.
For ~2-4 days I felt like death - headaches, nausea, brain fog, all the standard withdrawal symptoms. On about the 5th day, I hit a patch of euphoria that lasted about 2 weeks. I was training harder than I've ever trained, felt like I was on crack, and was insanely productive. All of that came crashing down on a run when I had a huge panic attack and was convinced I'd have to call 911. Calmed down from that but was essentially couch bound for the next 72 hours - alternating between putting my shoes on to take myself to the ER and taking them off telling myself to relax. From there, I spent the next 4 months basically figuring out how to live again... I couldn't walk my dog more than a block without fear of a panic attack, couldn't grocery shop, couldn't sit in traffic, could barely go into work... it was the hardest and most challenging period of my life. As things started to ease, I was able to return to some sense of normalcy but I had the occasional HUGE adrenaline dump or panic attack. I'd be sitting on a work call (routine, things I've been doing for the last 10 years) and would feel a surge/dump of what I can only describe as pure adrenaline, heart rate would shoot up to 180bpm (seated, at rest), and would have to just white knuckle through or make an excuse to get out of the call and walk a bit.
I'm not 100% "normal" but I don't have to restrict myself any more out of anxiety or panic fears, I have zero cravings (even around friends with Zyn, starting up again doesn't even cross my mind), and I can definitely say I'm better mentally than I ever was on nicotine.
Even this long version is shortened - happy to share details, talk through things, or help anyone interested.