Looking for feedback on flow and tone. Are the experimental parts distracting? Are the characters and the world too foreign and difficult to visualise? Any glaring issues.
Glossary here
Any general feedback welcome but especially keen to get non-NZ persepectives on the Māori/Polynesian worldview and worldbuilding presented: cosmology, lexicon, and overall spiritual concepts.
Happy just to hear where you gave up too!
Ps. Am new to Reddit. This was the third attempt after a few removals and deletions. So sorry to anyone caught out mid-read. Thanks for taking the time.
*Apologies on the earlier attempt at this post - Google drive didn't like the word docs.
I'm starting to get closer to final revisions for the first 15 or so. As I work my way through the rest, it would be great to get someone/anyone to have a go at reading some of it. There is a glossary for those unfamiliar with the world.
Ho & the Baby Eater is a Polynesian-inspired mythic fantasy novel about exile, hunger, mana, prophecy, pride, gods, monsters, and the cost of becoming a hero.
Chapter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nvNEJfL8xU3c1Kmcjbu5251B0qcRq3Mp5LsP84hWDMg/edit?usp=sharing
Glossary: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Uk4PtZsNc65v-6HeKy2V9kbHFe3EPCm7EyieWsAMdHo/edit?usp=sharing
Also keen to hear from anyone who reads the post - the title, the theme, and then noseit - just comment, 'not interested in the subject' 'too foreign' 'don't care or want to read about Polynesians', so I get a better clue on how to get a bit more engagement from humans instead of crickets.