How do I handle a former forever DM who keeps correcting me while I run the game?
I am currently DM’ing two games, and in both of them I play with two other DMs. Before I started running games myself, both of them were basically forever DMs and rarely got the chance to play.
Honestly, having them at the table helped me learn how to DM, and I am genuinely thankful for that. Their advice and support helped me get to the point where I now really love running games.
The problem is that one of them still seems to be stuck in “I need to help the DM” mode. He often interjects, corrects me, or starts explaining rules during the session. Sometimes this turns into a bit of a ramble about how things work in the books, and he does not seem to like it when I stray from the rules and books.
I understand where he is coming from. He knows the rules well and wants things to be done properly. But my style as a DM is more focused on keeping the game fun, cinematic, and flowing. I try to stick to the rules as much as possible, but if a strict ruling slows the game down or gets in the way of the moment, I am okay with bending or simplifying things.
The other forever DM player at the table has already adjusted really well. He trusts me now and only really jumps in when I actively ask for help. He says he loves how I run it and have adapted well to DM'ing.
I have already addressed this openly with the group and said that I want to run the game in my own way. The rest of the party seemed to understand and nodded along, but the player in question did not really respond and has continued to interject and “help” during sessions. These rambles about the rules can go on for 5 minutes,, at which point I notice the whole table, including the other forever DM player, zoning out.
At this point, I feel like the next step is to talk to him privately and tell him that, while I appreciate his knowledge and support, the constant corrections are starting to disrupt the game for me. I want to make it clear that if I need help with a rule, I will ask him.
The difficult part is that this is also kind of his personality outside of TTRPGs. He tends to correct or explain things in real life too, so I do not think he is doing it maliciously, it is just his personality, and outside of this small annoyance, he is a very dear friend of mine. I know he means well.
What do you think is the best way forward here? How would you personally handle this without damaging the friendship or making him feel attacked?