Hot take: Luan Nian is the first Cdrama ML who isn't someone's fantasy boyfriend!
I finally figured out why I react differently to Luan Nian than I do to most Cdrama male leads.
I’m a guy, and usually I look at these ridiculously perfect men and think… okay. Cool. Great hair. Owns a company. Can command an army. Has never experienced an awkward emotion in his life.
On the other hand, Luan Nian is a fucking mess, and I mean that as a compliment!
He’s controlling. He’s emotionally unavailable. He’s rude when he doesn’t know what to say. He pushes Shang Zhitao away and then gets angry when she actually starts pulling away. The six year secret relationship alone is enough to make me want to shake him.
But I understand him.
The stuff with his father especially made a lot of his behavior click for me. He clearly learned that being vulnerable is something you get punished for, so when he actually has feelings, he doesn’t know what to do with them.
He gets sarcastic, defensive, and says something cruel instead of saying something honest or vulnerable.
And unfortunately, I recognize that.
Mind you that it is not because I’m secretly Luan Nian, but because I’ve definitely had moments where silence or saying the wrong thing was easier than admitting I actually cared. That’s why he feels different to me.
Ladies, I don’t think he’s a good boyfriend and understanding his behavior does not excuse it at all! I know a lot of you have been burned by dramas that expect you to excuse a man's cruelty because he had a sad backstory. That's not what I'm doing here. Understanding him does not mean forgiving him.
In fact, I get why some of you are like GET THIS MAN AWAY FROM HER.
But he’s the first Cdrama ML in a while where I haven’t felt like I’m watching someone’s fantasy boyfriend. I’ve felt like I’m watching an actual person screw up.
Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing. I am truly glad that he exists and I am also glad that Shang Zhitao exist! She is not a fantasy girlfriend either. She has her own principles, ideaology and a personality outside of her romantic interest. Shang Zhitao is not there to fix him either. She walks away when she needs to. She's not a reward for his growth. She gives me hope for dramas with female leads who aren't defined by trauma.
It's taken a lot of courage to share my perspective. I have typed and erased this post plenty of times and almost didn't share my opinion, because I am afraid of being misunderstood by everyone who hated him.