CPALE
DISCLAIMER: NOT A MOTIVATIONAL POST
I heard so many stories of CPALE passers who said they were never confident they’d make it. Some even called it “chamba” or “swerte lang.” But what do you call someone who studied hard, gave everything, came so close, and still fell short? Was it bad luck? Wrong timing? Or just a dream still waiting for its season?
My first take was May 2024, kasabay ng mga ka-batch ko. I was a lone reviewee while working full-time. I only took two days AWOL for the actual exam itself. Deep down, I knew I took it too lightly. When I failed, I felt… nothing. I just went back to work like it didn’t hurt.
But it did.
It took me almost two years before I gathered enough courage to try again. This time, I allowed people at work to know I was taking the exam. I applied for a 90-day study leave, and thankfully, it was granted. I studied relentlessly. Every day revolved around one goal: to finally become a CPA.
Then came November 4, 2025.
I still didn’t make it.
I checked my grades and saw a conditional status. Ang sakit pala ng “konti na lang.” I cried the entire day. I felt ashamed returning to work, ashamed facing people who knew how badly I wanted it. But I still showed up the next day carrying a heartbreak no one could really see.
I even wanted to resign.
I became distant, even from the CPA friends who once gave me comfort. I lost my confidence. I lost the spark I used to have. Mas masakit kasi I knew I wasn’t careless anymore. I gave it everything. I graduated with Latin honors, yet somehow, I was still short of the title I prayed for.
Still, I returned to review again. I filed for May 2026 CPALE. But this time, fear became heavier than hope. I couldn’t bring myself to ask for another study leave. I went back to the province carrying all the exhaustion, and somewhere during that bus ride home, I just cried.
Not because I no longer wanted the dream.
But because I wanted it so much and I was terrified of breaking again.
Right now, I don’t think I lost my dream. I think I lost my faith in myself.