Grieving who my baby brother used to be after he was violent
My (30f) baby brother (28) got out of the hospital last week Thursday after being in crisis. Since he came back, he’s been doing so much better. We go to the gym, we plan and work together and he seemed to be coming up. He has, however, been struggling with sleeping since getting back. Today, I think it just boiled over.
My big sis (32) woke him up to give him his meds, he had been asleep for about an hr after struggling all night. It pissed him off to no end and to top it off (for him), none of us had cigarettes for him. He insulted my sister and when she pulled me aside to ask me what was going on, he stormed over and in her face and head butted her (pretty hard). When I came to the rescue, he threw a punch at my eye that I dodged and it made contact with my cheekbone instead.
To get safety concerns out of the way, I’ve contacted his doctors and they will be coming for a home visit later today and both my sister and I are giving him A LOT of space right now and until then.
I cannot stop crying. I never thought I would see the day my sweet baby brother would put his hands on either of us and my heart is breaking. I don’t know how to deal with the grief of losing someone while still having them right here with me. And worst of all is the shame I feel for being afraid of my own brother. Any advice?