Memory Unlocked
I had a memory pop up from GATE thats been rather haunting for me.
Background info: This was mid to late 90s, I was 6/7 years old, went to school in a rural, souther, private school. There was no disclosure of GATE and the only way I found out was through test scores. My school was very small.
This memory is rather sensitive so I would ask if you don’t believe it, please keep comments to yourself. I have raised this in therapy and my therapist and I have done work to ensure what I am remembering is accurate. My therapist has acknowledged this memory as an “original wound.”
Memory: This is still foggy but more details over time has come back. I remember being in a room at school that I have never been in. I remember this room being “off limits” as it was a religious school/church and this room was a makeshift apartment for visiting pastors/missionaries (sibling confirmed this). I remember a bed in the corner and all windows covered with paper bags. I remember sitting at a desk with someone who I didn’t know. I think it was a man. They began to administer hypnosis. I wasn’t sure what was going on so I just complied. I followed the gold watch with my whole head and then they stopped and told me to watch with my eyes only.
I can’t remember anything while being in an altered state but I do remember hearing “you will not remember this” and then the countdown to come back awake. Something deep triggered inside of my head with fierce determination of “I will remember” and feeling like my mind was ripped apart. Whatever happened, my 6/7 year old brain knew it wasn’t good and went into survival mode.
Bottom line: This was all done without requesting consent and no ethical guidelines were followed for administering hypnosis to children. My sibling does remember parts of GATE but does not remember anything like this. I even questioned if this was some occult practice since this was associated with a church, but it doesn’t quite fit. My parents were very anti mental health/illness and would not sign me up for something like this. They were very much into corporal punishment ”parenting.”
Does anyone have any memory like this? This memory answered a lot of patterns and issues I had as a kid going all the way into my young adult years.