Toddler theory for pacing
I’ve had FM for several years, was diagnosed about 1.5 years ago after years of mysterious symptoms. I’m a 53F with teenage kids. One thing that has helped me immensely is to envision myself being like a toddler. When my kids were tiny, I only had ambitions of one major activity per day (one playdate, one excursion, one restaurant or errand). I’ve been applying the same theory to myself and it is very useful in not judging myself too harshly if I need to nap or cancel plans.
So if I have a big work project, I plan on cereal or scrambled eggs for dinner with grapes. If I do an exercise class, I’m not disappointed or annoyed with myself if I need to nap. If we’re on vacation, I only expect to be able to see one museum or one long walk per day and then relax in the hotel. Adjusting expectations the way I did when my kids were toddlers has given me a reset in terms of what is a “good” or “productive” day without feeling like a failure or lazy. It’s just realistic about my capacity now and enables me to treat myself with kindness and gentleness as I did when I was living with a two year old. It’s neither good nor bad, just honest. I hope this reframing might help some of you!