Bidet gets water everywhere no matter what I try
Tmi maybe, rant warning.
Whenever I use a bidet, my entire bottom half gets completely soaked. The water splashes on to my inner thighs or on my butt cheeks or on my vagina, or it runs down my cheeks or the crevice between my thighs or down my perineum and on to my vulva and vaginal opening, usually all of the above by the time I'm done spraying. So I'm completely wet down there, and it feels gross when I go to dry because my hand gets soaked too even if I use a giant wad of tp. I use so much of it to dry that I'm clogging the toilet like once a month.
I feel like I've tried everything. I've tried moving forwards, moving backwards, leaning forwards, leaning backwards, spreading my legs or closing them, moving to the left or to the right, sitting on a diagonal, turning the water pressure up or down, I've tried the feminine setting, and also adjusting the spray angle. Nothing works.
I've tried four bidets so far, they're all budget amazon ones under 100 dollars, but they all had over 4.5 stars on at least 1k reviews.
You might be thinking, bro that's a skill issue just move where the water is, I promise I've tried. I've tried positioning myself in pretty much every way imaginable. But I feel like if it rlly was a skill issue, shouldn't I have gotten better at it? I've been using a bidet every day for over a year but I'm still as soaked today as I was the first time I used one.
I got fed up and tried going back to just wiping, but for whatever reason wiping genuinely doesn't get me clean. I can sit there and wipe for like ten full minutes with tp and wet wipes (and clog the toilet and fill the entire garbage with half a pack of wipes in the process) and still need a bidet to get the rest because the tp never goes white.
Idk what to do, no one else seems to be having this issue. Maybe a handheld one? A fancy electric one? Sigh.