I don’t even know how to start this, but I feel like I’m living through the last days of my dog… and my heart is breaking.
He is 16.5 years old. He’s been my baby, my everything, my first child before my human babies. He has been there through every stage of my life, every version of me. And now I feel like I’m slowly losing him.
Today he didn’t want to eat. He seems weaker. He doesn’t want to go on walks anymore, he just wants to sleep all day… although to be fair, he has always been a very calm dog. His happiness has always been just being next to me, laying down, sleeping together. Food was never a big thing for him either.
But now everything feels different. I feel it in my chest. I feel like my time with him is running out and I don’t know how to handle it.
I also want to be honest about something that is really heavy on my heart… I don’t want to make the decision to put him to sleep. I understand people have their reasons and I respect that deeply, but I don’t feel like I can carry that decision myself. I hope I’m not judged for that. I just… can’t.
I’m here because I need advice. What should I do during these days? How can I make this time meaningful for him and for me?
And also… what memories can I create now that I will hold onto forever? I want to capture him, his essence, our love… before it’s too late.
I’ve been crying nonstop. I’ve even lost weight from the stress and sadness. I have two little human babies who need me, but this dog… he was my first baby. I don’t know how life looks without him.
If you’ve gone through this, please talk to me. I feel so alone in this pain.