What scares me as a woman...
You know what genuinely scares me as a woman these days? Not even just the idea of being killed by a man , but knowing that if it happened, people would immediately start trying to justify it.
They would dig through my life looking for reasons why it was "understandable.” They’d call me a hoe. A gold digger. A bad woman. They’d say I probably used men for money and got what was coming to me. My death would become a warning lesson for other women instead of a tragedy.
It hurts to even think about because I know how hard I work for my life.
I work. I pay my bills. I fund my own lifestyle. I take care of myself. But the moment I die , suddenly people will act like everything I had must have come from a man. As if women are incapable of building lives for themselves. As if a man somewhere deserves credit for everything I owned, experienced, simply because I existed.
Imagine working yourself to exhaustion, trying to survive, trying to enjoy your life, only for strangers to reduce you to “she was using men.” Even if I ate a man's money does that justify murdering me?
I love going out. I love clubbing. I love wearing what I want. I buy my own drinks. I take care of myself , and if I meet someone, flirt, or even have consensual sex, that should never become permission for violence against me.
But I’ve seen how people talk when women are murdered. The victim stops being human to them.People will ask: “Why was she there?” “Why did she go home with him?” “Did he spend money on her?” Anything except: “Why did he kill her?”
Why do people only seem to find empathy for murdered women when they’re described as “someone’s sister,” “someone’s mother,” or “someone’s wife”? Why can’t a woman simply matter because she is human?
I wouldn't even be able to defend myself, and honestly, that infuriates me.
TL;DR: What scares me as a woman is knowing that if a man ever harmed or killed me, society would probably focus more on judging my lifestyle than condemning the violence.