Being in a "boring average" relationship is far superior to being single.
Firstly, this post is aimed at the under 36 crowd because most who are above that age don't think this is unpopular. Secondly, I apologize if I don't have the best writing style. I tend to get paralysis from analysis so this is my attempt at just talking off the cuff.
Let's start from the basics first. It is well accepted knowledge among the under 36 crowd that being single is superior to being in a bad relationship, but what is seldom discussed is that, a stable "boring" relationship with someone that you trust is far superior to being single, even if you guys don't have crazy sparks, or crazy good emotional or sexual chemistry.
I think the true divide between young adults and fully fledged adults is that young adults tend to be very idealistic in their thinking whereas fully fledged adults tend to be very pragmatic in their thinking. They've been around the block a few times and they have the gray hairs to prove it which is why they tend to be a little bit more cold and unsentimental in the way that they think.
That is why the saying was coined "If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, and if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain."
I'll use an analogy to better paint this picture for you. What would you say if you saw a young person who stated that they refused to get a job that they were dispassionate about and preferred to remain unemployed because they felt like working a job you don't love was selling out to the system? Most of you would say that this person needs to be a little bit more utilitarian in their thinking and you could point out to them that having a job that pays the bills even if they're not passionate about it is still very valuable.
This is why so many young people balk at the idea of getting into a boring relationship. They feel as though they're selling out. They feel as though if they hold out just long enough they'll find that crazy amazing relationship that is romanticized in fiction.
I will be blunt and say I view these people with a small degree of pity because they remind me of that person at the casino who thinks that they'll hit big if they play just one more hand or one more round. Except in this casino the chips that they're gambling with is time and eventually their bankroll will go to zero.
When it comes to dating, long-term relationships, and marriage, society has very much lost the plot.
We have been so inundated by idealistic thinking in the art and media that we consume that we have essentially suffered generational amnesia and have forgotten what the classical definition of a good partner is. We must never forget though that idealism must always be balanced with pragmatism.
For me the classical definition of a good partner boils down to three things. They're trustworthy, you somewhat enjoy their company (being with them doesn't exhaust you and you have other sources of filling your social battery), and their life trajectory is heading in the same general direction as your life trajectory, even if it's not heading in the exact same direction.
That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
That's what marriage originally was. It was a utilitarian thing. It was two people sitting across from one another and basically saying "life is hard, you don't always get what you want, but we might be able to make our lives a little bit easier and get a little bit more what we want if we have each other's back".
Not to mention the fact that as you age it becomes much harder to make friends and as people grow older they tend to get paired off and couples tend to hang out more with other couples.
This is why so many people hate this topic. An exciting relationship is like a sports car. It's fast, when you're driving it you feel like you're a little bit more alive, but it also isn't very reliable and it costs an arm and leg to repair. A stable relationship is like a normal sedan. It'll get you from point a to point b, it won't break down as often, and when it does break down, it's usually much easier to fix.
That's what prevents so many people from settling down. They want to find their soulmate and to enter into a long-term relationship with someone who isn't their soulmate is essentially them letting that dream die. What they don't understand is that by letting one dream die, they might be able to let other dreams of theirs flourish, just like how a forest fire burns away the canopy and lets sunlight reach down and gives other life a chance to grow and flourish.