Trusting gut and anxiety
I truly feel like most of my adult life I have really struggled with decision making and trusting my gut. Currently I’ve been faced with a pretty major life decision. For reference, Im a 33-year-old single male with no kids. Aside from leaving for two years to complete my masters, I have lived my entire life in my medium sized hometown, not knowing anything different. Since being back, I have once again felt a desire to explore something new, seeking a change of scenery. And in doing so I have been offered a position a state over that would allow for some growth and overall is a really great opportunity.
For the longest time leading up to this, I’ve wanted to get out of my home town. But after many disappointments during the job application process, I started slowly accepting that maybe staying put was simply in the cards.
After multiple rejections, I finally got a job interview which then led to an offer. Prior to this the thought of time passing and growing older in my hometown would give me anxiety for some reason mixed with comfort. Now that the potential to leave has become more of a reality, I find myself having panic attacks and trying to silence an inner voice that seems to be trying to talk me out of it.
Leaving home would be mean a higher cost of living, less time with friends, and hardest of all moving away from my parents. However, on the flipside, this new city would offer a lot more in terms of a more vibrant social life, dating prospects and other opportunities with home an hour plane ride away.
Trying to wade through all my anxiety has been a challenge, and I can’t tell if the inner critic and panic attacks are signs that my gut is trying to tell me that this move is wrong for me or if it’s simply just a fear based response that is trying to protect me from this new unknown that accompanies moving to a foreign city. Unfortunately, I have always gotten into the habit of viewing things through a permanent lens. This makes me feel like if I take this job I’ll never end up living in the same city as my family and core friends again. Which I know is hopefully not true, but when friends and family are of high importance to me, it makes me question my decision and leaves me feeling like I’m making the wrong one.
Long story, short, I guess I just really struggle to separate logic from fear and as a result, feel like I am never able to make the right decision. Was curious to hear from those that may struggle with this and if you had any management strategies?