Casual sex as a single woman volunteer. What should I consider?
I made a little throwaway for this question and related topics but I've interacted with this sub before.
I am a late 20s single woman who is leaving for service in Sub-Suharan Africa in a few months. I've passed my clearances and have packing mostly sorted out.
One thing I have little insight on is how to handle sex during service as a single woman. I used the search and know this question has been asked before but I haven't seen many recent comments about this and not many responses by women.
I have found conflicting information about whether or not my country of service allows sex toys and I don't want to risk something that can get confiscated, fined, or worse.
I know celibacy is an option, but truthfully it isn't a realistic option for me. I know everyone is different and some people come in and connect with other volunteers, HCNs, International Development workers, or tourists. I'm open to all of those groups and have no specifc preference when it comes to gender. I know same sex relationships between women is not illegal in my country of service, but I know it's socially taboo and I wouldn't want to put any HCNs at risk of social stigma with my personal choices in that regard. I can figure out what dating apps are available when I'm there and just get a feel of the people and environment around me.
My worry is the stigma and general acceptance as a woman asking this question. I don't think this will go as smoothly for me as it would for a guy volunteer. I know discretion, protection, and communication are all pretty important regardless of who my sexual partner might be. Especially because I would be interested in something more casual. If a relationship happens I would be open to that but that isn't my goal. I have been abroad in cohorts of Americans in programs that are similar to Peace Corps and sometimes this topic is brushed off or deeply criticized within the group, especially if a woman is at the center of it.
From the HCN perspective, I am also worried since I am a black woman and may not get the same grace a visibly foreign volunteer would get in this situation. I also already get hypersexualized due to my body type and my appearance, even when I wear modest clothing, so I feel like if I admit to also wanting casual sex to certain people it could make my situation very different. Sure, I can stick to bigger cities, the capital, etc. but I also wonder how realistic that is. I don't really care about the rumors amongst volunteers, but in my community it could have serious consequences to the work I can do.
I'm curious how I should potentially think about this aspect of service and what I should consider about this? I assume PST might cover some of this and I know we get access to resources like contraceptives and condoms, so I'm not worried about that part. I'm pretty proactive with that. It's the other stuff I'd like some perspective on.
Thanks!