This is how GuP changed my life
Thanks to BelkaFan for giving me the courage to share my story.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always loved everything related to the military. That sparked my interest in history and I use to spend hours and hours in front of the TV watching History Channel.
My family never liked this. They always tried to pull me out of that world, saying it was something bad. It hurt because they made me feel like there was something wrong with me and other people too since they always treated me like "the weird one". They also wouldn’t let me watch anime at home.
One of the ways they tried to get me to forget about it was by pushing me into sports. I tried everything, but nothing stuck until I found tennis. It came naturally to me and I kept at it for years. Because of training and everything else, I only had time to watch things at night.
With the money I won from tournaments, I bought a PS4. I could play BF4 and I was happy, I could enjoy a bit more of what I loved. I created my gamertag that really felt like mine: “Rommelson18”.
I finished school and because of pressure from my parents, I ended up studying something I didn’t like. At the same time, even though I wanted to go pro, I had to work... and suddenly, I had no time for anything. I barely had time to sleep. This went on for years. I watched people I knew become professionals.
Because of how hard I pushed my body, I got injured. I went through the whole recovery process but I didn’t want to go back. I realized it was no longer possible for me, so I quit. I tried to stick with my degree, but my mind just couldn’t keep up... nothing clicked. During the pandemic, I dropped out and lost my job...
For years, I lived on autopilot. I went from job to job, using games to escape reality. It was a mess… I had no motivation for anything.
One night, when I couldn’t sleep, May 5th of last year, YT recommended me a video that was over 12 years old: Pravda singing Katyusha. I was already living alone, so I decided to look up where it was from. I watched the first episode and loved it, really loved it, so I kept going.
Then I got to episode two. The scene where Yukari sees the Panzer 38(t)... Out of nowhere, I started shaking and just broke down. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Once I calmed down, I realized... I had seen myself, the kid I used to be, the one who watched those documentaries and was fascinated by tanks.
I watched the whole anime that night. I loved everything, the references, the team’s camaraderie, all of it. It made me feel like I had found my place. I felt at home.
From that day on, everything changed. I did everything I could so that at the start of this year, I could begin being myself again. I have dreams again. I’m training again. I’m studying what I actually want and doing what I enjoy.
The only thing I want now is to go there, watch the final movie, visit Ōarai, and thank the place that gave me the will to live again.
I want to give a huge thanks to everyone who reads this. Thank you for being part of this community, thanks to the artists who create those beautiful drawings, something I could only dream of doing, thanks to the mods and thanks to those famous TikTok creators for creating such masterpieces. Thanks you all for helping me find my path again ☺️
Pd: I gonna leave a video (made by "anzai1fan" ) that always helps me when I feel bad
Sorry if anything sounds weird, I'm not a native English speaker