u/Double-Ad-5204

I hope i dont trigger anyone else but:

What is it about me that cannot stand those conversations. Like I literally cannot fathom how people openly say ”I need to go wash my *ss/balls” as a term for bathing. Or things like “swamp ass” in conversation etc.

I’m as sexual and foul mouthed as the next guy, but I cannot stand hearing other people talk about their sexual encounters and dealings. I find it strange how normal it can be for others, these days ladies are super open about it too. “I need my *ss ate” etc. or “I would drink her bath water”

maybe childish but I do not even want to think about anyone else using the bathroom, especially any partner. Hate hearing peoples piss flow. Hate using the bathroom after someone has blown it up. These things are fine, I just don’t want to know nor be around.

recently heard another dude say they never want to see their girls used underwear left in the bathroom. Extreme but I kinda got it…

i have a “phobia” of smelling other peoples private parts (as in smelling it from afar, not actually directly going down for a sniff). I find it weird when guys openly talk about their girls “smell“ and vice versa.

maybe it’s a childhood trauma, my parents were great but wetting the bed or shitting myself was just like a nightmare to me so I grew out of those things very quick.

its nothing to do with shyness or inexperience trust me, it’s also an expectation I like to uphold myself not just others. No misogyny. It‘s partly sensitivity to smell and hygiene…a smell alone can piss me off/put me off so it’s strange when people are so casual about it.

I don’t know…just wondering who else is out there that understands, and how you deal with it.

28 (M), and cousin (M) a couple years younger. Grew up like siblings during holidays, though our parents aren’t the closest of their siblings.

I was the studious one, he the sports prospect. cousin is oldest sibling in his house. His parent older than mine. As much as I had the best time in their home, everything revolved around what they wanted to do and who they were gonna be…naturally. But this cousin at the time was an outlaw, a fun one. Police, parties, near misses with gangs. Fun times, but the toxicity of staying there and survivors remorse whilst studying triggered a private anxiety and depression diagnosis then.

Adulthood? cousin stayed with me once, was so distracted almost didn’t finish my postgrad studies. Few years later…I’m recovering from that and finally somewhat found my feet. Cousin trying, but has been through lot of conflict with his child’s mother, living situation issues, random stories like being robbed, fighting. Would randomly call out of the blue to crash at mine (yes at this age), and then if I tried to wriggle out if it (to help him) I would get a call from his mother (Yes at this age). Didn’t pick up. You end up getting drawn back into chaos. You sometimes even feel guilty posting achievements, anticipating a call. My mother actually was also v.sick (which they did not know).

Have helped cousin in so many ways, advice, opportunities where I can. I don’t think there’s been a conversation where I’ve shared my own worries or concerns.
We have a whole bunch of male cousins in a chat, some different countries. Full of Great memes and talks. Cousin just randomly claims all the cousins don’t communicate as men (not true), sob story, had we been together for him wouldve been different. It became more a hijack, nefariously directed at me…hadn’t seen his child since birth (two years though I’ve sent money etc.),others communicate better (untrue).

I passive aggressively(?) flip and say everyones thoughts eg. “I have been a sounding board of advise till date. everyone is going through things, tends to be very different for men how we communicate and we actually all do. Best thing is for everyone to get themselves together, then we can pour into one another which is what we’re doing (house moves, new careers, new relationship). I’ve always been there and we are all just a text or call away from one another.“

cousin responds with gaslighting, then ”this isn’t what our grandparents would want. maybe I’m just speaking nonsense, fine I’ll never speak again”

That’s when I lost it, because grandparents meant the world to me…I disclosed all that I and my family recently dealt with and told him its best he cut it out right now. The manipulation of this cousin having everyone at their mercy and beck and call was enough. manipulating people into getting on board with their program instead of just truly missing someone was enough. Just said “you think whatever, we’ll talk soon”…

…Got a missed call from his mom today.

AITA?

i really would like to understand his motivation to work so hard. He said at one point he was doing 15-16 shows. In any other “developed” country where you can earn $20,000 to $100,000 per episode for a National show, he would be rich enough to start his own MBC.

even if he is making less, by now he should have enough money, as much as a Kdrama star. I’m guessing…

He only had a two day holiday!!! please help me understand!

So I’m sure by now we’re all aware of the ongoing hotel stationary collection trend. I’ve become more intrigued since people from far and wide come to my city to do it because of its famed luxury hotels and make full on viral reels about it. I’ve considered: Maybe I do it as a way to appreciate my city and its history I guess, before everything changes? For example, so many of the older notepads and crests online look so cool. Maybe my future generations (and family abroad like my nieces & nephew) may appreciate my efforts of collection this era of notepapers. Kinda romantic. I should’ve started when I actually stayed at some of these places but, but I wanted to ask (some seemingly obvious questions but not so obvious to an introvert who hates looking like a grifter-especially since some people sell these things):

Is it a worthy quest to start?

What do you think the appropriate way for a non guest would be to ask front desk? Just walk in and ask “Could I get some headed note paper“ like I’m in need of it to jot something down OR actually give them the whole rundown about why? (Some people online said most luxury hotels already get it, other hotels will claim they don’t but still give in)

What are your thoughts as an employee, and what would your response to such a request be?

Interested to know what he‘s doing with Mink now…Ive seen he is super supportive, been on tour with him, but almost seems like he’s been giving some sort of marketing or management role in the team. He’s hands on with updates, even the discord.

that shi he went through with Feng, I don’t know all the ins and outs but that mustve burnt. so definitely want to see him win. if anyone else knows what hes up to now feel free to share…

hes mad young as well so I hope he gets paid properly for his input.

Italy is by far one of my favourite countries. I loved Portofino for the beauty and Southern Sardinia for its beaches, but noticed that as much as I love the luxury and the must-see picturesque places, I really love those quiet roads, speaking to locals at a calm pace not a touristy pace and petting their dogs, not too many eyes on me. Love the mini museums and cathedrals. I prefer to find somewhere great and stay around there, that was perfect in Portofino. I loved stopping to pick little crystal stones in Sardina. The free privacy that feels like a luxury is what I love about Italy.

Luckily, I was able to visit both I think during less busy times, which was surprising to me. I may strike lucky again as I am visiting again on typical work days. This time I will be visiting Como in mid June with my parents, one of which cannot do too much walking right now but just enough. We will be staying in Como Camerlata I believe. Likely have only two days to explore everywhere and because of my parents the extensive tours might be too tough:

I do want to eat at amazing places and take pictures of beautiful buildings and flowers, but I do get overwhelmed with making sure it’s the recommended restaurants, overwhelmed by calculating all costs & pricing too strictly. Overwhelmed with Trying to anticipate everything. Once I’m there and can just be free to explore and sit I’m usually fine, (e.g. one place with clear things to stop at like NYC or London, Paris was also a little overwhelming with options for me). I heard Bellagio is amazing and going up to Brunate is recommended.

My plan so far:

1 Day - right from Como city center pickup, planning a boat trip around Lake Como, 10 mins at each spot like the golf clubs, Versace villa, a former Tsars Villa I believe etc. (no admission though, so a lot of time in the boat) then we are dropped back in Como city meeting point. Sounds like an hour long What then? Do we stay in Como and go up to the Brunate and back? Do we go back out to Bellagio maybe?

Another option for that day (similar price) was to instead use the day and travel ourselves on train to Bellagio or Varenna, then for a cruise that give access to Balbianello gardens. Then maybe just eat at Bellagio or Varenna. which would take up the whole day since it’s a 1 hour + train journey to Bellagio and back home. Might be better?

Other Day - planning to fit the UNESCO site train travelling to Switzerland and back on this day. If it’s possible. How many stops should we/can we realistically stop at in a day? I wouldn’t mind stopping at one Swiss place and spending the whole day there, then going back home. I’m a fan of cool cars, fashion and chocolate (like most people) so if there’s any place that has those around I’m there!

Any ”smart traveller“ advice and little tips I would likely miss as an introvert would be so helpful! Things I must do / must know to feel at ease I would be very grateful if you could share! Doesn’t have to be too specific!