u/DoubleChocolate6880

I resigned from my current job (worked 10-11 months approx) because the working environment and relationship with my manager became unbearable.

When I resigned, my manager verbally said a much shorter notice period could be possible, and we discussed earlier leaving dates. I relied on this when agreeing a start date with my new employer. She said in many instances that it was a a possibility. I then got another job. Based on what my manager had told me, I initially gave the new employer an earlier potential start date, but I later moved it back to a date my manager had suggested. The new employer agreed to wait for me.

Now my current employer says none of those conversations were agreed because they weren't in writing and insists I work my full contractual notice.

I had a meeting with HR and my manager to negotiate. I offered to leave at the beginning of the month, but they refused and said the earliest they would accept is around the middle of the month. They kept telling me I should be “reasonable,” that I'm leaving the team in a difficult position, that there may be new work coming in while other people are off, and that my new employer would wait if they really wanted me.
The problem is that I've already moved my start date once based on what my current employer told me. I cannot keep going back to my new employer and moving it again. I also do not want to. The situation with this employer before I resigned was honestly so bad I couldn't eat, drink, lost weight, was not sleeping, and it started really affecting my mental and physical health. It also had me isolating myself, and damage relationships about it because I was just crying every day about this and not talking about anything else. It changed who I am in a way I don't want to be. I do not want to work any longer.

If I leave before my contractual notice ends despite them refusing, what realistically happens in the UK?

Can they deduct losses from my final pay?

What losses could they actually claim?

Could they start disciplinary proceedings?

Could it affect my reference?

Should I tell my new employer?

I'm aware it could technically be a breach of contract. I'm just trying to understand the realistic consequences before deciding what to do.

I’m also pretty upset because I feel like I relied on what I was told, changed my plans accordingly, and now the goalposts have repeatedly moved. I just want this situation to be over.

England employment notice period — can I leave early if my employer refuses?

I resigned from my current job (worked 10-11 months approx) because the working environment and relationship with my manager became unbearable.

When I resigned, my manager verbally said a much shorter notice period could be possible, and we discussed earlier leaving dates. I relied on this when agreeing a start date with my new employer. She said in many instances that it was a a possibility. I then got another job. Based on what my manager had told me, I initially gave the new employer an earlier potential start date, but I later moved it back to a date my manager had suggested. The new employer agreed to wait for me.

Now my current employer says none of those conversations were agreed because they weren't in writing and insists I work my full contractual notice.

I had a meeting with HR and my manager to negotiate. I offered to leave at the beginning of the month, but they refused and said the earliest they would accept is around the middle of the month. They kept telling me I should be “reasonable,” that I'm leaving the team in a difficult position, that there may be new work coming in while other people are off, and that my new employer would wait if they really wanted me.
The problem is that I've already moved my start date once based on what my current employer told me. I cannot keep going back to my new employer and moving it again. I also do not want to. The situation with this employer before I resigned was honestly so bad I couldn't eat, drink, lost weight, was not sleeping, and it started really affecting my mental and physical health. It also had me isolating myself, and damage relationships about it because I was just crying every day about this and not talking about anything else. It changed who I am in a way I don't want to be. I do not want to work any longer.

If I leave before my contractual notice ends despite them refusing, what realistically happens in the UK?

Can they deduct losses from my final pay?

What losses could they actually claim?

Could they start disciplinary proceedings?

Could it affect my reference?

Should I tell my new employer?

I'm aware it could technically be a breach of contract. I'm just trying to understand the realistic consequences before deciding what to do.

I’m also pretty upset because I feel like I relied on what I was told, changed my plans accordingly, and now the goalposts have repeatedly moved. I just want this situation to be over.