I matched ( I am million times grateful to Allah) and that day I felt numb, after that I feel like my life has ended, I have no interest left what so ever.
Becoming a doctor was never my dream, I was very good at maths and physics but my family forced me to become a doctor, I pursued this career but it didn't amaze me, I was below average in medical school and just to satisfy my own ego because of continuous comparison, I pursued my path towards USMLE and did extremely well. I know I have put a lot of harwork into this journey but It didn't make me happy, for me it was juat a target to achieve.
During medical school I pursued another career where I made learned a skill to made enormous money in comparison to doctors in US. But making that money even didn't satisfy my soul. I feel like I'm lost in this world, no one understands me what I'm going through. I don't have the energy to even get out of the bed. I feel that whole my life I just tried to please others and forgot my soul. I don't know what success is, what happiness is. I'm happy when I am in farms and have chickens and goats around, i like to help people and educate people. City and hospital life isn't meant for me, I hate this toxic competition among doctors pulling each others legs. I feel suffocated. Believe me more money and luxury didn't made me a different person or that feeling of awesomeness.
I know people will ask me how much money did I make in comments, it's 1,261,292.87$ (1 Million 261 hundred thousand USD).
All those who didn't reach/or want to reach this financial milestone, I bet you, you'll also feel more happy when you didn't had this burden or desire to do more good.
Advice:
- Never force your children to chose X or Y career.
- Never chase money, your life doesn't improve with more, yes your greed become more.
- Never compare yourself to someone, comparison is a thief of joy.
- Help as many people as much you can to make them smile
- Learn to be happy.
Maybe I'd give up on my match position.