u/Dramatic-Sympathy804

I have been on an antidepressant search for 7 years. Started with Prozac, then Cymbalta, then Wellbutrin, then Lexapro, which I was on for 2 years, then switched to Buspar because I was concerned the Lexapro was causing weight gain and sexual dysfunction. I was on 10 mg 3 years ago. At first I really felt alive. I felt my sex drive come back and I felt like I wasn’t as hungry. But over the years I’ve had a lot of breakthrough symptoms and still struggled with negative self-talk, hyperventilation and self-mutilation. Then about 6 months ago my NP added trintelix and upped my buspar to 30 mg. I was on trintelix for two months. I noticed I was starting to pack on some pounds but thought it was due to lack of physical activity. Then my insurance changed and I had to switch to viibryd, which I’ve been told is very similar to trintelix. Well I felt more regulated on viibryd, I really started packing on the pounds. Its really frustrating because now none of my clothes fit even though I only cook healthy meals at home and I’m very strictly in the gym 4x a week (these healthy habits have been going on for 6 months). I noticed new stretch marks in new places. So I tapered off the viibryd and now I’m just on the 30 mg of buspar. It’s been just about two weeks, so a little soon to see if I will start losing weight, but fingers crossed my clothes start fitting again. But now I’m feeling panicky all the time and I can barely breathe. Its just so frustrating because I’ve been trying to incorporate all these healthy habits and I’m even on a med and I don’t see any benefits. So now it’s like why am I even on the buspar? Because there’s no side effects? But it’s not even working? I am thinking antidepressants just aren’t for me and I might as well just taper off the buspar as well.

I have been very diligent about sticking to my New Year’s resolution of working out 4x a week. The only month where that lagged would have been April because I was going through a break-up and I had to deal with finding a place and moving out. I also have cut way back on eating out since January. I might eat out once a month. I have been cooking healthy meals at home. And I switched from trintelix to viibryd in January. I noticed I’ve actually been gaining weight. I noticed new stretch marks around my stomach. And a skirt that fit last December doesn’t fit anymore. I’ve been sobbing about this for days. I just want it to end. it’s so frustrating. I was really scared about gaining weight on a new antidepressant (I’ve been on buspar for years and I don’t notice any side effects but I also don’t notice any improvement in my anxiety and depression). I was told Viibryd is a weight neutral drug. Before buspar and viibryd I tried trintelix, Prozac, Wellbutrin, cymbalta, and lexapro. I am so sick of the antidepressant merry go round I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about going off the viibryd. my body is not a science experiment. it could take years to undo the weight ive gained. I will take my depression symptoms over the viibryd side effects any day. I actually self mutilated for the first time this year I was so upset about the weight gain. I will never go on another antidepressant besides buspar ever again.

I have been teaching privately for a year now and I’m new to Preply (I’ve had it for two months) I live in a city with a high cost of living. What do music teachers typically charge? Thanks.