(25) to (26) Finally at peace with myself.
The past year has been rough for me. I went through a very MAJOR depression. It caused horrible appetite issues. I would only eat dinner for months and months straight. Not even finish it, just a couple bites & I was done. I was not drinking water like I should’ve been. I was lucky if I got half a bottle of water down every other 2 days, maybe longer? It was so bad. My body was eating itself… it started going for my muscles. Every bone in my body was getting weak. I couldn’t stand without my legs shaking. I literally stopped dreaming. I have ALWAYS been a big dreamer, I can even lucid dream on my own. During that period, I did not have a single dream. My body had to conserve its energy for my brain & heart to get me through the days. I lost 62 pounds because of this. Went from a size 18 to a size 8. This has actually caused major thyroid issues for me. It is 3 times the size it’s supposed to be, because my body has been deficient on so much for so long.
It’s been 1 1/2 month since I have finally started eating and taking care of myself again. The difference in myself is night and day. Makes me cry actually lol. The life was literally draining out of me. I’m on medication for my mental health that has changed my life. I finally feel like myself again. I’m also dreaming again! They’re foggy, but they’re going. So crazy that can happen. I know my body will need time to fully heal from that, but we’re in the right direction :)!
I don’t want to bother my family with this stuff, so if you’ve read this long, thank you so much. 🤍