Can I really do this?
Hello! I’m kind of venting so if anyone even reads…well…here’s my situation.
I have worked in my program for a long time. I have seen complete turnover of staff. I have seen five directors come and go. I have seen our program thrive and I’ve seen it hit rock bottom(aka this year).
I had a baby in May 2025 and decided I would be leaving the job to stay home. While I was at home an opportunity to buy our dream home came up, but this would mean I would need to return to work. I came back as a long time sub and have been in my class from September to now. I was guaranteed a full time position for the 2026-2027 school year.
Well, as admin usually does, they made promises they could not keep. They let me know they were shutting down half of the rooms and as a sub I would not be asked to return. I am devastated. I love the kids, I’ve watched this program from the start and I’ve seen it grow and I’ve watched people I considered family drop off one at a time because this administration can not put their pride aside and let the people who know the program run it. This goes hand in hand with the complete turnover and multiple directors but that is a story for another time.
Well, one of the people in the district suggested I apply for the Director position because it’s open now. I, like many ECE professionals don’t really trust admin and I’ve had my fair share of beef with most of them. But, and this is objectively, I am a respected member of my community and am known for my professionalism and connection with my students.
I have never wanted a director job. I have never wanted to be anywhere but in a classroom. Now it seems like I don’t have a choice, and if I want to work in our program that I have helped build bottom up this is the position available.
Now I know I know the rules, I know liscencing, I know best practice, I’ve gone to school for this, I have been trained in this. I believe in doing things correctly and in the best interest for students. But can I be a leader? Can I handle the drama? Can I take on the district and fight for my program when it comes time, which we all know it will? Is it worth it? Can I do right by the parents, students, and staff???
I am terrified, but I am more terrified that I will continue to watch people come in who don’t know the job, people who refuse to hold their teachers to a standard, to watch the program and childr suffer the consequences for their inadequacies. I’m scared. Is it worth it?