u/Due-Pomegranate-575

oh my goodness, i do not even know where to start, but per the title, i got my period back in 3 weeks of going all in for recovery!

for context, i started a really steep calorie deficit in feburary of this year until the end of april. I was eating anywhere from 1200-1500 calories during my cut for the purpose of wanting to achieve the lean look I see pop up on my fyp and Instagram feed, but also wanting to feel more confident in my body. i did use a calorie tracker, and my macros, on average, were about 150g carbs, 45g fat, 110g protein. as a 5'3'' female, i started out at about 129lb-127lb and ended at 118 lb. my body fat % at the end of my cut was about 22% (verified by a dexa scan).

All of my life i have been a relatively clean eater, and have always enjoyed eating sweet treats/going out to eat! so cutting out foods that fulfilled my mental/emotional needs was extremely hard. deep into my cut i had the same 3 meals on repeat and would stress out if my dining hall was out of my go-to foods. and when i mean stress out, i mean STRESS TF out. i would plan all of my meals/grams into myfitnesspal ahead of time. i bought my food scale with me everywhere. into every school dining hall, into my home during breaks from school, into the library, wherever I went, my tracker was with me as well.

my exercise routine during my deficit was an upper/lower/upper/lower weight lifting split, incline walks for 20 mins @ 3.0 speed, and abs. this is pretty similar to the split i had maintained for the past year, but with the addition of cardio this time. also at college, i got anywhere from 8k-15k steps a day.

the negative side effects I experienced while in my deficit were the following (because, as good as skinny can feel, my body suffered so much): out of the 88 ish days of my deficit, about 8 days the food noise was so unbearable, i either binged ate or had a maintenance day. within the hour and day to come after that, the shame and guilt i felt was overwhelming. i would tell myself i would need to fast for the next day, reorganize my preplanned meal entries, and crash out to my bf. it utterly consumed my mind. besdies that, i slept AWFUL. i would wake up in the middle of the night, wake up before my alarm, etc and i would always need to pee super badly within seconds of waking up. Throughout the day i always needed to pee (which was likely due to an overconsumption of coffee and alanis). i was irritiatble, stressed, felt nauseous after eating, had little to no hunger signals, and could go 6-8 hours without eating before i felt the slightest bit hungry. i was winded going up and down the stairs and walking around campus was the most exhausting thing to do. it just felt like i was dragging my body around. i brusied easily, i had many headaches, and my heart rate was slow. my life became revolved around food, numbers, weight, and how much i could feel my abs/ribs. whenever i went out with friends to eat, i only ordered diet sodas, tea, or brought a pre-weighed meal. i was scared to go out to eat and would try to weigh out the pros/cons of not going. during my entire deficit, i was scared to gain any type of weight. i was scared to see the scale and not see a drop in the number. i had become obsessed with being the smallest version possible of me. i wanted to look as lean as possible and although i lost weight, what i saw in the mirror was never enough.

but most importantly, i had missed 3 consecutive periods. i've always had normally recurring periods throughout my life, so this was the biggest signal that what i was doing was not good for my body. reading all of these vulnerable stories from the women on here and watching TikToks for HA recovery slowly enter my feed, i knew something needed to change. i came to the realization one day that did not want this lifestyle. i did not want to increase my risk of osteoporosis, certain diseases, etc. I really want to be strong. I want to lift heavy and grow muscle. Needless to say, I can still be STRONG, LIFT HEAVY, GROW MUSCLE, and maintain a body that I feel comfy in, but the way I went about achieve that was utterly wrong.

here is what worked for me to get my period back within 3 weeks WHILE maintaining my workout intensity:
- got help from a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders and women's health
- ate whatever, and however much i want. this means i ate anywhere from 2500-4500 calories a day
- i ate every 2-3 hours
- i tried my best not to stress about my exact protein/fiber intake
- increased carbs and fats!! i ate lots of peanut butter, bread, avocado, nuts granola, etc
- when i had an intense thought about eating a food, or what sounded like what my body needed, i ate it. no judgements. i let myself eat what i was craving WHEN i was craving it. this really helped mitigate guilt and food noise moving forward
- did not do cardio for the sole purpose of burning off food i ate or to give myself leeway to eat more. i did cardio because i liked moving my body, so i leaned more into this mindset
- ate slowly and in the moment. it can be overwhelming to allow yourself to eat foods you have avoided for so long

and here are the signs i was getting my period back, along with some of those uncomfortable signs I had to push through to get it back:
- bloating in my stomach and face
- irregular bowel movements in terms of frequency/type
- sore/swollen breasts
- extreme hunger
- weight gain
- super emotional and breaking out right before my period. during my deficit i had no acne. this has also been super hard to see!
- overall better sleep, more energy, less lethargy, less trips to the bathroom to bee

lastly, i want to say to all of my girls out there going through HA recovery. YOU GOT THIS. it has taken a toll on me to go into a deficit, then literally go in the opposite direction. take your time. a few months and even a few years is small compared to decades of healthiness. breathe. keep doing what you're doing. seek out professionals. get support from your friends/family. it is NOT easy. you are strong and going through this has already made you 100x stronger. you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of happy moments, a strong body, and a growth mindset. inbox always open for more questions!

edit: sorry for all the typos!! i was so excited to write about this