I'm 29F Indian working in USA. Was in arranged marriage talks with a guy for 5 months, had 9 meetings total.
First 8 meetings went well. Things seemed positive, he even introduced me to his best friend which I thought was a good sign.
Meeting 9 turned into a finance interrogation:
What's your salary?
Why aren't you investing?
We'll have a joint account (he stated this as fact, didn't ask or discuss)
If your parents want to buy a car, will YOU pay for it?
If they want to renovate their house, will YOU pay?
If they want to take an international trip, will YOU pay?
Do your parents expect money from you?
Your sister lives in US - will you pay for your parents' domestic trips to visit her?
Your father is retiring soon - will you be paying him money?
He said my student loan is "concerning" (ironic because he also had student loans for his education) and I said that I will pay my education loan not expecting any help in that from him.
I explained that my parents are financially independent, my father has his own retirement savings, and they don't expect any money from me or us as a couple.
Here's the disturbing part: Later I found out his father asked my father the EXACT same questions during their separate conversation. Same questions about whether my parents expect money, trips, car, everything. This was clearly a coordinated interrogation between father and son.
After this meeting, I messaged him saying I'm traveling for my sister's graduation and asked if we could meet before I leave. His father sent an official rejection message to my father.
Here's my issue: I feel completely RELIEVED, not sad at all. Everyone around me expects me to be heartbroken, but honestly I feel like I dodged a bullet. The coordinated financial interrogation from both him and his father felt like they were treating my family as financial liabilities to audit, not as future in-laws.
Am I wrong for being happy this ended?