Hey guys, I need some honest advice here.
I was a med surg nurse in a small town hospital for 2.5years straight out of nursing school. It was hectic of course, my anxiety was all time high, I would check on my patients every hour if possible. I had times where I had an ICU level patient and had to focus all my attention on them, feeling like I neglected my other patients. But my hospitalists loved me.
There was one shift where I took care of a total care patient with no quality of life, begging me to let her die, but her family over the phone consented to a g tube. I cried uncontrollably that day, I actually had to go home early, my friend took over my shift, thank the lord for her.
I’ve had MDD since I was about 9 years old, tried every med out there. Either made me suicidal or just so numb I couldn’t handle it. So meds weren’t really an option. I have been able to overcome a lot despite my mental issues. But that day I truly felt I wasn’t strong enough to be a nurse. Even after 2 years in med surg, at that point.
I transferred to the postpartum unit in my hospital, it was great at first, my training was minimal since I had experience in medsurg despite it being completely different! I was delivering babies, but somehow in my entire 1.5 years I never even had to give oxygen to a baby. Even with my partial abruption preemie, and a true knot baby!
I did have to report a nurse for giving the wrong breastmilk, that was a whole deal but I swear my manager blamed me for not lying for her.
I was in postpartum for 1.5 years. I finally quit because my depression was out of control, I felt like everyone had something against me in that department, when I was used to feeling like someone who anyone could come to for help/advice without judgment. Sometimes I didn’t feel like a real nurse in PP. We had so much downtime in this department that the nurses had nothing better to do than to gossip. If there was ever an autistic/neurodivergent couple, I’d get them. They were more work but I was patient. Any person who needed a blood transfusion, I got them since I had med surg experience. I gave more blood in postpartum than I did in medsurg. Some of the nurses I worked with, had never even given blood once! The thing about my hospital is that we didn’t have a charge nurse in PP, who truly kept up with the unit/assessed acuity. If we did have a charge nurse, she had a full patient load. So the assignments were always a mess, I felt like I was always given more work, which I don’t mind but it started feeling personal. And all the gossip during the dayshift would travel to my managers who actually questioned me over things like, why did you put another iv in this patient? Well she was allergic to our standard c section meds; and the Dr literally put that order in for Iv pain meds for this specific reason, dayshift should’ve never taken her Iv out. (I tried walking with her, position changes before I resorted to IV pain meds) I would have to explain myself over standard nursing judgments. Once I explained myself I was in the clear, but the nurses would report me over the dumbest things. Never had this issue in med surg.
I was floated to ICU a couple times, I really enjoyed it. Less patients, critical so I could dig into their chart and investigate all their issues. That’s something I enjoy. I wasn’t given the privilege of managing drips, but I got along well with all the nurses. It felt like a family in ICU. Dark humor is something I’m down with.
I am moving back to a big city, where the options are endless.
Pediatrics was something I always aspired to do. The whole reason I became a nurse, my type 1 diabetic cousin who was only a year younger than I was, was constantly in hospitals. She hated it but I loved it. She passed at 19.
I took a quiz and it was 50/50 with oncology and pediatrics. I’m afraid I’m not bubbly enough for pediatrics .
I did enjoy taking care of moms and babies. But someone told me the environment will probably be the same everywhere I go. Mean girl energy. I’m not someone who agrees just to agree and feel included. I will tell you my honest opinion. Another thing I was judged on was the fact that I truly do not want children; I don’t want to spread my mental illness, and I prefer to travel. But not every mom who has a baby was ready to be a mom, and I believe I was the least judgmental, I just tried my best to educate them. Make them the best mom they’re able to be.
I hated being floated to ER! It was the worst for me.
I like to have the same patient over a couple of days, and build a true rapport with them.
Please ask me any questions, I wish I had a straight answer on where to apply! I have so many options now, but I just don’t want to waste any time in a unit I’m not made for! I spent so much time in this small town, I should’ve moved earlier but I didn’t have the financial means beforehand.
Maybe I shouldn’t be a nurse anymore, that’s something else I’ve considered. Let me know what your thoughts are!