sab daal rahe the mai bhi bata deta hoon
i was in icse in 10th. got 99.6%
i was contacted by my city’s allen, and so my journey began.
they assumed i had studied for olys, i hadn’t, they didn’t let me in star batch (the star batch gave rank 38x this year and 4xx this year, tho two kids didn’t even get 99 so :/)
i got into a batch, i was late, mole concept was over, sequence series was over, kinematics was over. nlm, atomic, trig started. i didn’t understand anything in trig, i still don’t probably. atomic structure‘s schrodinger part was a bouncer, and nlm, well, let’s say, constrained motion is still weak. teacher changed for phy, new teacher was lovely, he taught well, he had good illustrations. by diwali, pc ended, thermo 2nd law and 3rd law weren’t taught, basically skipped. this was the time i was mature enough to use alk sir’s lecture to study them well. maths still was going shit, teacher asked me to not use any books and i followed, coordinate geometry wasted. organic started, i started understanding stuff, got mature, started studying chapters from books. matrices and det, finished in 2 days, like a one shot, pnc completed in 5, no examples, no ideas.
12th started, star batch #2 was to be formed. i grinded hard and got in. started studying even more. completed my 11th backlogs, ranked 4th in all city test. i tried my best. revised everyday until physics stopped making sense.
just like that, my fav subject stopped making sense? the teacher started skipping stuff (the same lovely teacher), he started leaving class midway to answer calls, i used physics galaxy book to study. but one fine day, i got sick, i couldn’t make up for the gauss law being half assed in my class. teacher asked me question that day, i couldn’t answer, he yelled at me, humiliated me, told me im a worthless person and it would be a miracle if i cracked even boards. i stopped studying. didn’t study for a month, whenever i sat down, i cursed myself, even practiced sh (did sh from 7th to 9th as well due to family issues) marks slipped, got rank 21 in next test. i realised i fucked up, started studying even more. physics teacher was being a fucker, he skipped everything, i had to study everything from my own. then all of a sudden, when modern came, he left us alone, said we were too retarded to be taught, left our batch, all other teachers were too busy and no one helped us. no doubt support, no nothin.
prescore came, then star score, w/o doubt supports, they didn’t help at all, but i gave all of them, wasted even more time. tried studying again, got 99.57x in mains, and now as im about to end my journey here on 17. i feel so proud of myself, thanks to whoever read. i will soon join some or thw other college, im sure ill crack adv. all because of myself. from the suicidal kid in 7th to becoming the most mature version of myself, thank you to jee. 🥹