New and don't think I can handle it
At the end of last year my father took a fall and things have been downhill since then. I'm so frustrated with the way things have gone, things didn't have to go this way but his choices led us down this path. Now it's got to the point where he's practically bed bound with pressures sores. He can barely make it to the toilet anymore with a Zimmer frame. He eats maybe 300 calories a day in food and has probably the same in alcohol. He is severely depressed and refuses help such as carers, anti depressants, respite care home, stair lift. He hasn't bathed since 2025 in November.
I have been trying to take care of stuff but he's so resistant to any changes and is adamant he can do it all, despite not being able to do anything. I'm so close to walking away and let him deal with it but that feels terrible. It feels like I failed him letting it get this bad and that I'm enabling him by continuing to support his choices. I have zero faith he is ever going to get out of that bed. Just to be clear, he isn't dying, he does have some health problems but the biggest issue is the depression and alcohol. He's very angry and lashes out at anyone who tries to help him. Hes pushing everyone away and eventually I fear nobody will call anymore and he will be shunned.
Sorry for the long post. I just feel like I'm going to snap because I cannot believe it has got like this. I don't understand why he refuses help and I can't watch him rot away in a bed slowly dying. Is this what it's normally like? I've never been a carer or anything before, so this past 7 months have been difficult yet I feel like others do this for years on end and manage. How do they manage and I can't?