u/ESP_1983

I have been agnostic for nearly 13 years and have concluded that some people really need a religion to get by in life. I listened to a few podcasts of people who were in a very bad situation and converted to Christianity and now seem to be doing much more better, with families restored, a sense of fulfillness, and happier. I cannot be a Christian again, because my agnosticism doesn’t come from wanting to live a life without morals or values, I recognize that being raised in the religion did provide some foundations on morals and values but now they come from the simple aspect of having piece of mind and respecting others as well as nature in general. Also there are simply too many religions and beliefs that cannot converge, at least in their dogmatic nature. Even among Christians, Muslims and Jews there is great division, Catholics and Protestants have even at war, same with Sunni and Shia… this belief in “my religion is the one truth and yours is wrong” is one of my main reason to never go back to it, along with the basics of the origin of the universe. The thought of a specific religious god to be the author of a universe in which most probably a tiny, almost negligible number of living beings believe in is nonsensical.

But I don’t deny the possibility of a “being”, who or which most probably isn’t anything like what religions say it is. I have come to think maybe it is not that wasteful to “pray” or try to access to it in some way, spiritually, since it may exist. In the last months I have prayed again, after almost 13 years, but I don’t do it like when I was a Christian. I simply “pray” and say “if you exist”. If a deity exists and has some sense of justice, why not? The Christian god seems to be too sensitive, and would not like someone to pray if they do not believe. I cannot believe. I have the right to doubt and question. If the religious gods existed they would have made it clear to all living beings and nobody would be following different beliefs.