Managed to eat 'normally' after 6 exhausting years
tl:dr: I took a drug a few weeks ago and now take it regularly because almost all symptoms are gone. Most doctors are useless, Im trying to rewire my brain to not need a drug to fucking swallow but it is what it is
I did all the tests - NOTHING showed any signs of anything. 'Everything was good', was what EVERY the doctor said. After years of evaluation and 'therapy', I was told to go to a clinic- insurance pays for it so Im good, eight?
NO CLINIC WOULD TAKE ME! I DIDNT HAVE AN EATING DISORDER. NEVER HAD ONE! Which is why Im still angry that my 'therapist/psychiatrist/neurologist (shes a doctor in all of them) said I have an eating disorder.
I HAD A DISORDER TRYING TO EAT/SWALLOW NOT AN EATING DISORDER - WHICH IS WHY NO CLINIC TOOK ME IN
Anyway, I became addicted to all sorts of drugs and I realised - when I took too much of a drug for neuropathic pain (I dont say the drug because if it doesn't work for you, and nobody ever talked about that drug in this context, I don't want anyone to get addicted)
And noticed I can swallow again .. Like wtf? The difference was day and night. I genuinely didn't have a concept of eating - I have literally lost to the concept of swallowing after 6 YEARS OF DRINKING MY FOOD WITH TROUBLE! There were WEEKS - SOMETIMES MONTHS - WHERE I COULDNT SWALLOW MY SPIT FOR FUCKS SAKE
and this weird drug does it. I wasn't an addict before the swallow issues. Issues started early 2020, became an addict late 2022, and just now trying new drugs did I realise how none of my problems are apparent when that drug is there.