im past the age where i should have had one. i swore up and down i would never do it, but at my last doctors appointment i finally gave in and told her i would do it. (primary doc)
the appointment is in a few days and im actually so scared i wont be able to do it once i get there and ill waste time and money.
its not really about the pain, its more about the fatt ch that i hate how it looks down there. i have an "outie" vagina. like the inner lips hang outside. it's my biggest insecurity, and the thought of having my primary doc look straight into it with bright lights is terrifying. i also regret that i'm doing it with my primary doc rather than a gynecologist, because what if i literally have the ugliest vagina she's ever seen. i'm so scared of her saying something concerning or negative. what if she can't hide her reaction? if she even says anything about me having a large labia i will literally shrivel up and die. if this experience goes bad it will genuinely scar me for life.
advice? consolation?
edit: thank you so much to everyone