Should I be a teacher?
I have a BA in Psychology, I’ve been working in schools for a little over 2 years. My first career choice was School Psychology but due to financial constraints I pivoted to wanting to be a teacher. Financial Aide may help cover my first year and the other semester would be out of pocket.
Yesterday was one of the most disappointing and exhausting days I’ve ever had. I’m a TK Aide, and there’s a child with severe aggressive behaviors. He’s thrown chairs and made messes, and we had evidence to show admin. But they blamed my teacher, and have had her create a behavior plan while the child is still in our class. He’s a ticking bomb, and he was so close to punching a child yesterday but he didn’t reach him. My adrenaline was high, he was throwing things, pulling kids, and I just can’t. I wanted to cry after I reached my teacher. My adrenaline was at the roof, and when it was happening I was calling my teacher, but she was in the office talking about the behavior plan. She was reprimanded and asked what she was doing.
I understand that there may be some triggers, but for him to reach that point? And put the blame on her is utterly disappointing. My teacher told me this is how it works… admin will put the pressure and blame you. Parents also put the blame on her, because mom is in denial. While we are left to scramble and deal it on our own.
I was doing my CSETs and applying to the credential program which I was going to send in next week… My teacher told me to pivot, to choose something else. Because a lot of it will go to you, you’ll be blamed and left alone for a good chunk. You’ll have parents who might escalate or simply not care. You’ll have admin with favoritism and gossip.
She said if you stay you’d have to go against your own values to just get by. But I’m very empathetic, to top it off a perfectionist, and I was really looking forward to teaching. But after hearing the burn out, the lack of proper support, and the toxicity. I don’t know if I can do it.
I don’t know if my nervous system can handle it, and it’s painful because I care about these kids. Maybe I was overwhelmed and maybe it might not be as bad? But my teacher told me she’s had worse…
But then again, I don’t even know what I’d do…