Flight in less than a week
I’m 25 and I’ve been flying since I was a child, I’ve even been on two intercontinental flights before. When I was little, I actually loved flying.
Between the ages of 10 and 15, I didn’t fly at all. Then when I finally got on a plane again I was suddenly terrified. A week before the flight, I remember thinking, “In one week, I’m going to die.” Around that time, I had started watching TV programs about plane crashes and I empathized deeply with the victims. I especially hated scenes showing the passengers’ perspective like their excitement turning into fear and tragedy.
Since then I’ve taken many flights despite my fear but it keeps getting progressively worse. So far I’ve canceled three flights but luckily I did manage to fly again after those cancellations, it’s just that every experience feels SO MUCH harder than the last.
The last time I flew I had such a severe panic attack that I nearly fainted, and the cabin crew had to take me to the back of the plane with them. Oddly enough, being there helped because seeing things from the crew’s perspective didn’t remind me as much of those crash documentaries.
The strange thing is that I don’t think I’m afraid of flying itself. If I were on a private jet or a helicopter, I honestly don’t think I’d be scared at all. But being on a commercial plane surrounded by so many people and in an environment that reminds me of those crash shows and my past panic attacks makes me feel like I can’t handle it anymore.
I’m scared I’m going to have a panic attack at the airport this time. My girlfriend is getting tired of my fear, and I’m worried she might break up with me over it, especially because this is supposed to be our vacation together. The flight is less than two hours, but I’m still absolutely terrified this time.
Not sure why I made this post, I’m looking for some support I guess