u/Efeuly

Hello everyone.

I disappeared from this sub for a while due to mental-health issues and tbh, to see these posts every time I open reddit made things worse for me so I needed a break. But now I have to vent a little bit about my situation, and I know you guys will understand it best.

Yesterday, I had a root tip surgery. A surgeon I went to without any hope for anything surprisingly found a chronic inflammation exactly in the spot of my TN pain. I had to wait 2 months for the appointment and couldn't help to be hopeful although I knew it will crush me if it's just a coincidende that the inflammation is there and the treatment does nothing for my TN pain.

And yesterday was absolute hell. The operation took an hour because I needed breaks and I was in so much pain afterwards. And when the anesthetic dissapeared, the TN-pain came back so much stronger. It's so bad. I have the pain from the surgery, and the TN pain, and on top I now have issues with a numb chin because the anestethic didn't go away completely. I'm trying not to panic but I'm so scared of another nerve issue.

But well. My biggest problem is (of course) TN. The numbness and the surgery pain are nothing against it, although they make the situation worse (I always hate it when I have pain on top of the TN pain, it's too much for me). Before the surgery, I also had pain everyday, but it was moderate. I could live with it, and even forget about it with enough distraction. But now I struggle to drink and eat again because it's SO painful, and it's because of the TN pain and not the surgery pain.

It's so discouraging. My pain is even worse than before, I have new pain (although only for a limited time) and numbness on top... I know, these first days will pass, and the surgery pain and HOPEFULLY the numbness will go away. But it didn't do anything to my TN pain, and I tried to expect this, I tried not to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it and now I'm so crushed tbh. I cried a lot in the morning. Which made it even worse.

Just needed to vent. Hope you all are doing okay.

Hello everyone.

I recently started cognitive behavioral therapy. I'm 24 years old. It's the first therapy in my life. I thought about it for years, but because of a new physical diagnosis my mental health got so bad I really started to take the steps and go to therapy, even if scared.

I go there because of anxiety and panic disorders. And I have immense anxiety before the sessions. Even days before I get scared to go there and I don't know why, my therapist seems nice and once I'm there, the anxiety gets better.

Tomorrow I have my third session. And yesterday I started to get anxious and today it gets worse and worse. The last two times it got really bad the closer the session got. A few hours before it I couldn't do anything because I was so anxious.

When does it get better? My therapist said it will get better eventually and I have to give myself some time. And I know I'm still new to everything and just at the start of my journey. But I hate that I get so much anxiety because of it.

Any experiences of people who experienced the same? After how much time/how many sessions did it get better for you? What can I do to make the time before the sessions easier?

Lately, I noticed I'm kinda embracing the pain. I sometimes trigger it consciously with my tongue, and it feels familiar and in a weird way calming? Since I'm taking meds the pain got a lot better, I can eat and talk and basically do anything (and even forget about it if I'm distracted enough) because I only have minor pain for a few months now. It didn't go away completely, but now it doesn't bother me anymore, which ist weird? Maybe this is what the mind does if a person has pain everyday for a long time. Even the anxiety of having a huge flare-up again went away because I trust in my meds preventing that.

The psychological aspect of this disease is weird. Maybe it has something to do with taking antidepressants for a month, too (although I only take a low dose of it). In one way or another, although I think it's weird that I now not only accept but even embrace the pain as something familiar and in a soothing way controllable when I trigger it consciously and feel it for a few seconds - I am glad it is this way now. It's weird, and it can chance, especially if the pain gets unbearable again. But right now, it's okay for me to have this pain, as weird as it sounds.

Maybe someone can relate. I just wanted to write about it because it's weird, I guess. Although like I said, maybe it's because of my antidepressants. But it kinda feels like my mind is calming down and accepting the pain to be a part of me to not go insane in the long run.

Hello everyone.

I am taking Paroxetin for 3,5 weeks now. I am on 10mg. I tried to go up on 20mg 7 days after I started because my neurologist said so, but I felt so bad mentally and physically. I didn't vomit, but I had the reflex to do so and my throat felt so bad after it. The next day i talked to my neurologist and she told me to go back to 10mg for 2 weeks. I still felt bad for 3 days, but then I felt better.

The 2 weeks are now over, and I feel good. The side effects from 10mg went away. And now I wonder if I should try 20mg again or just stay on 10mg.

I read here that it is hard to come off of it. I don't want to take it forever. I am starting therapy and want to work on my problems to hopefully get off Paroxetin in the long run. But for now, I think it is better to take it to even be able to work on myself because without it, I have these insense feelings of anxiety almost all the time.

10mg are helping. I don't have the anxiety feelings anymore, except for special occasions like doctor visits or therapy sessions or talking to my boss because I'm always really nervous about these kind of things. But overall, I can live life again without anxiety.

I can cope on 10mg, I think. Sometimes I have a thought and I know it would normally trigger these anxiety feelings in my body and I hear inside me and search for it but there aren't any anxiety feelings or they feel very, very surpressed. It's so helpful at the moment.

I think 20mg would maybe help a bit more. And it's the dose my neurologist originally said I should take. But I can cope on 10mg and after my strong reaction both mentally and physically on 20mg I'm really hesitant to try it again. I don't feel stable enough to go through the side effects for weeks until they get better. I have a lot of problems going on, a chronic pain illness where I am currently upping my doses, problems with friends and family, problems at work, the stress of starting therapy and so on. And 10mg is helping except for special occassions, like I stated. And I'm so happy to finally not have any side effects from 10mg anymore, they were stressing me out.

My neurologist says it's my decision if I want to try 20mg again because I only tried it one day and didn't really give it a chance. But I don't know what to do. I tend to stay on 10mg, but wondered if anyone here stayed on such a low dose for a longer period of time or maybe didn't go up at all, and what their experiences are. Or what others would advise. It's so hard to make such a decision if your doctor says it's all up to you.

Hello everyone.

I'm taking Paroxetin for a week now and was nauseous everyday although I'm taking it with my breakfast. It gets better after 6 hours, but I can't really work because of it. I was taking 10mg and today I will go up to 20mg. I also can't show or tell anything at home because my parents don't know about these meds and my search for therapy. At the moment I'm saying I'm just ill, but I can't do this for weeks. I don't know how long I can keep everything a secret when I feel so nauseous on it that I can't work. Also, I don't want to take anymore time off work.

Please tell me the effects will wear off soon, I'm a little bit desperate.

I just have to rant.

I had pain everyday for the last 4 months. And even before that, there were only a few days without pain, but at least more frequently. 4 months with pain was my longest episode until now. It was mainly manageable pain, but pain nonetheless. Then there was the last week. I had 7 pain-free days. I was just starting to stop being so suspicious if it will come back tomorrow and starting to enjoy it. And then, yesterday, it started again. I thought maybe I'll sleep it off, but of course I didn't. It's still fairly low pain, but my experience is that it will get more and more in just a few days.

It just feels so unfair. 7 days after 4 months of pain is such a short time. On the one hand I'm a little bit relieved I even seem to have some pain-free time at all, I had lost hope because it was such a long pain episode. But experiencing how life could be and then get the pain back so soon is so bitter. I had my neurologist appointment 2 days ago and told her I'm pain-free since a few days, and now my next appointment is in august. I'm trying to stay calm so not to trigger more pain, so maybe it will stay manageable like it is now, but I'm feeling so down. It feels so unfair.

I didn't even enjoy the pain-free days because I had so much going on with my search for therapy. I wonder if the stress from yesterday where I had a first appointment with a therapist (who can't take me because she doesn't have the capacity, but now I have the form to keep searching with hopefully more success) is the cause of the pain. It's so hard. You already have a lot on your shoulders and then on top of that the pain is back.

Just had to rant. My friends don't seem to have the capacity to deal with my problems and all the negativity anymore, and I can't blame them. And my family doesn't really seem to put the effort in to really understand trigeminal neuralgia. I just didn't know where to go except for here because I had the need to talk about my frustrations of having pain again. Not looking for a solution, only for someone to listen to me rambling.

Thanks for reading and hang in there, y'all.

Hello everyone.

I'm currently taking 100mg Lamotrigin, on Thursday I will increase to 125mg (50mg in the morning and 75mg in the evening). I'm taking Lamotrigin because my neurologist said there are less side effects in comparison to Cabarmazepin etc. I had a few side effects (the dry mouth bothered me the most), but over the weeks they got better and were always manageable.

But for weeks and months, my anxiety is through the roof and it doesn't seem to get better. I can't calm my body down, I'm crying nearly everyday and there is always this inner restlessness, this uncomfortable tingling in my stomach, and generally I feel nervous on a level as if I have a job interview in 20 minutes and are not prepared at all, even without a concrete trigger like a doctor appointment (which I'm always scared of) and almost the whole day. I tried breathing, taking more walks, distracting myself, but it all doesn't work, or works only for the moment and once I stop it's so bad again. It's so exhausting and gets me so down.

I'm wondering if it has anything to do with increasing my Lamotrigin over the past 2 months? My next neurologist appointment is in 2 weeks and I should probably tell her about these problems. But I'm scared that she takes me off Lamotrigin. The pain finally starts to lessen, I don't know if it's because the meds finally start working or because of a normal remission phase unrelated to the meds. Either way, I'm scared she will say I have to try other meds like Cabarmezepin. I'm not at all comfortable with the side effects of those. I have problems with panic attacks, and things like feeling drunk, dizzyness and so on are huge triggers for me, and to be honest, I even prefer the TN pain to having more panic attacks.

I'm searching for a therapist because of my mental health issues (namely, the anxiety and panic attacks that I dealt with more or less well on my own until it became a bigger and bigger problem since all this TN stuff got so worse half a year ago), but it's not easy to find one. Or even find the courage to call anyone. I talked to my doctor about wanting to get therapy and even this was so, so hard for me. I know I have to pick up the phone and make the calls to at least get on a waiting list (I'm from Germany, and there aren't nearly enough therapists available here, so the search will be hard). I'm just so exhausted from all of this and I'm overwhelmed where to start and that my parents will be so disappointed when they find out that I want therapy doesn't make it better (they don't think highly of getting therapy because of mental health problems).

I've read that Lamotrigin can cause anxiety. But I wonder if it's the case here, or if my anxiety got worse because of the whole thing with getting diagnosed with a chronic illness at 24, having to take meds for a lifetime (and I hate taking pills, the thought alone makes me so uncomfortable) or having a super scary operation on my brain, and still having pain everyday despite all these doctor visits the past 6 months (even if it slowly starts getting better, it's still frustrating). Also, I have problems with working (because I can't concentrate with everything going on) and my family (that doesn't seem willing to put the effort in to understand TN at all).

So, my question is, does anyone here have experience with taking Lamotrigin and increasing anxiety?

Also, I just had to vent a little bit, so sorry for the long post.