u/Effective-Still-117

I've been my mom's caretaker for about 4 years. I've heard the "i wish I could help!", "How can I help?" "What do you need?" A million times, from everyone from siblings to church members. I quit saying nothing! My answer is now, "If you wanna invite her for an evening, that would be great! Ill give you a quick list of dos and don'ts, but for a couple hours, you'll be fine." If they're really hesitant, a couple hours after she goes to bed, you can literally be a baby monitor, I'll be half an hour away if you need me.

Call their bluff. At best you get a few hours, at worst they have to admit they're full of shit!

Either way I gain something.

I've actually got a few Saturday nights to myself, one was literally sleeping in my car.

Why?

I(45f) take care of mom(72) post stroke. I take out a couple of pieces of chicken for tonight's dinner. Throw them on a baking sheet, a salad, and baked potato. Not a lot of prep needed. Just before I start she asks for chicken enchiladas instead. A whole lot more work. Gotta precook the chicken, fry tortillas, wrap and so on. And before I'm finished precooking the chicken, I hear...."Is it almost done?" NOOOOO!!!!!

Every step I've been asked what's taking so long. Well now I have 10 extra steps and 5x the dishes. All to make you happy, but now your annoyed. Next time you get what I'm making. Usually enchiladas would be started early and done in stages throughout the day.