is there answer paper of any topper or evaluated test series paper available online to get idea of to present answers.like is there word limit like this much we have to write for a 12marks question or 20mark question
i am preparing for upsc ese.and i am confident that if i put hardwork i will get through prelims and mains but i dont think the interview round,it will be very challenging for me,because my background is very diverse,with long gaps,and failures in different competitive exams that i have been writing and a job not even related to my field.and that too 2year only.this makes me question whether i should keep going or drop it.
when I was 23 and newly married and i attended a death of a relative and my 3year old niece slapped me on my face because i was holding the other 7year old niece because her mother wasnt there.And people there saw this and gave an embarassed look on my face.I felt bad and i kept smiling.
Now am 30,Another incident happened recently,one of my autistic 19year old cousin has this kind of hatred towards me and bodyshamed me infront of others and to make feel inferior she only talks to my sis in law.Its because once she came home i didnt opened door because the last time when she came she used my music instrument which i willingly give her but after playing a few minutes she tried to struck out the strings and kept watching me with side eye and i felt bad but i never told anything.Next time she came i pretended as if i was not at home.she got angry.
I dont understand why people think me as a jealous angry person when i am not the culprit but all i wanted is peace.And i know my relatives are toxic while they discuss about me and that reflects in the behaviour of their children like my niece and cousin.Why do people want to give me tags when i am not and havent even responded to anyone badly.
And when i go to gathering i dont like speaking to people i dont like,like i know who is toxic but i keep a normal face but still some child come up and ask me why arent u talking to the other women who is my age.And my austistic cousin asked me that too.and i wonder why they have to point me when they can also point at other person who is not even interested to intiate a talk with me.It happened not only with my austistic cousin and my other niece too,she gives a wierd look when i am talking to some new girl in the family as if i got the problems of jealousy.
So nowadays i started believing that maybe i have some problem.I started losing my confidence when i need it the most.
why do relatives,in laws,cousins,niece only treat me like this?like i am 100% sure that i havent seen any of them treating any one like this.
and yes there was fights among cousins like they talked bad against each other but after while its like they are acting like nothing happened and so much love and care drama.And all this happens to me even when i havent even slipped a word or misbehaved