How do I(26M) talk to my girlfriend(24F) about personal hygiene
Hi,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for close to a year now. I moved out a month ish ago, so now we’re staying together a bit more often, usually a couple nights at a time.
I’ve noticed when she comes over she sometimes may not shower often. E.g she came over this week on Thursday after work for two nights and left around noon today. She didn’t shower at my place and last time she did was on Wednesday.
Personally I care about cleanliness quite a bit, I shower every day at least and am pretty good with keeping my space tidy.
For some more context, I have visited her family home, she lives with her mom and sisters. Most times I won’t lie there has been quite odd odours when I went inside and also the place is always quite messy and sometimes it’s been an interesting mess in the kitchen…
I guess it’s the first time dealing with more negative feelings as before I felt like it was always good.
Just wondering is this something that normally comes up between couples or could be a big thing?
Edit: Thanks everyone for the comments, I appreciate it. I just wanted to add a bit more context as I see I wasn’t clear about some things…
- She has showered at mine before and I would say is comfortable. I’ve gotten her a towel and couple small things, she also has her own soap/shampoo bottles, loofah that she leaves here.
- I didn’t specifically say it but I have noticed bad odour as well, which I realized may be stemming from these habits. Before I moved out, we would go on dates and have s*x when we can, I would kind of think at the time it’s just because of the situation. Now when she’s staying over a couple nights and I notice not the best odour during some positions it’s a big turn off, and makes me think that’s normal for her.
- Regarding the interesting mess in the kitchen at her house I’ve seen, it’s stuff like a dirty knife and cutting board just sitting on the counter while I’m there for hours, a Tupperware covered in plastic that has a ton of flies just sitting there, at least 5 or 6 bags of dog poop just on the chair beside the front door etc…
- Also after she sees me clean and stuff she makes comments like “you’re so clean” , “I guess I know who’s gonna do the cleaning in the future” , which kind of makes me think, am I gonna have to do all that?