So like, I have two older sisters, and I get along reaaaallyyy well with the oldest (I'm a woman myself). My second oldest sister doesn't share any interests with either of us, but being sisters, we, of course, still got along like siblings normally do.
The issue is, these days, I really just want to take a break from her existence and it makes me feel so fucking bad. I talked about this with my friends, two of them, and while I was ranting, my friend turns to my other friend and whispers something in her ear. I felt so self-conscious, but still tried continuing, then my friend says I shouldn't insult others (I was not) and I didn't speak again after that. But it's so annoying that I can't keep it in.
She's the classic insta girl, overly traditional and 'patriotic'. Sincerely, I do not want to stay in the hellhole Pakistan has become. My sister always finds a way to comment on this. Unlike me and my other sister, she's very extroverted and social, and the amount of times I've gotten comments like, "you're just introverted and socially anxious because you don't try", "you're just cranky", from that woman can't even be counted. Not to mention, she's extremely racist and colorist and uses racist slurs as humor. It's so disgusting.
She's also very clearly misogynistic. It just upsets me because she's a woman herself, yet she always finds a way to insult other girls and put them down, snd clearly has some kind of superiority complex. My oldest sister mentioned her gpa, and right after, she starts talking about her own gpa (this news had already passed, and had been celebrated. It was my oldest sister's moment) and how she got a higher gpa despite studying a 'harder' course.
Then there's the comments about my body. This sister of mine used to be chubby because of a slow metabolism, while me and my oldest sister could eat a lot and still not get fat, and it's still the same. She got many comments on being fat that Pakistani families seem to consider 'funny' and I could tell it made her insecure. The issue is that at some point, she suddenly started dieting. Now, this should've been good forher, but she doesn't eat any healthy vegetables or fruits, so all she was doing was starving herself. We tried stopping her so many times but she only made comments about our bodies in return. Now, she's slim (in my opinion, unhealthy. She passes out very often) and takes pride in it.
She says that us telling her not to starve herself was because we were jealous and didn't want her to look better than us. That got to me so bad. Because me and my oldest sister are more to the flatter side (upper body) and she's not. Since then, whenever we wear something that isn't loose, she laughs and loudly jokes about it, and my mother laughs along. Her personality is so obnoxious and she doesn't realize it or doesn't want to acknowledge it, which upsets me even more.
She studies better than the rest of us despite us also being in 'first place' in our respective studies. Every family gathering, she makes sure to brag about it, and also makes sure to be the center of attention. If the topic dares to shift to me or my other two siblings (oldest sister and little brother), she makes sure to mention something about herself, her baking, her cooking, her driving, anything of that sort. My cousin, 3 years old, came to our house and he had adorable pins on. I kid you not, she scolded that TODDLER. She told him, a child, a three year old, that he was being gay, that girls wear those things.
My brother has a slimmer waist than all of us, and he's short for his age, and she also makes sure to remind him of that every single time. Mind you, he's 13. He doesn't need to be tall or whatever. But she makes him feel insecure and tells him how he's so feminine like it's a fucking insult. She doesn't seem to realize that her jokes aren't funny, but when we tell her to stop, she says we're 'falling for western propaganda'. She has no proper interests, either, but still insults our insults. I draw, I love drawing. This sister of mine, with no hobby except baking and taking/posting photos of herself every second, disrespecting and fighting with my mother for not getting her new kurtas, makes fun of every single thing I draw and then proceeds to take pictures and send them to her friends. I know they make fun of my art there. I've told her plenty of times that I do not do realism, so of course the characters will look like they're from a cartoon/anime, but she only laughs.
My father wanted to surprise her and took us to a restaurant. My sister started fighting with my mother right then and there for not telling her, and that now she hadn't even put on lipstick, how was she going to take photos now, and used such disrespectful language that I simply had to distance myself from the two because of sheer embarrassment.
Now, recently was the last straw. I hadn't slept in three days due to studies and was tiredly complaining to my mother about a terrible headache. My sister suddenly started saying how her life was much more difficult, how she got through the times I'm going through so easily, and that I'm simply exaggerating. My mother, of course, believed her. She does this everytime, saying I'm so whiny, and my mother believes her. Finally went to the hospital, turns out I've had migraines since childhood. And my sister made fun of this. She has been making fun of this.
This got really lengthy, but I just needed to rant. I'm trying not to think badly about her. She's my sister. But te more I think about it, the more and more reasons pile up, and now I can't figure out whether she' the issue or I'm just sensitive, even though my two others siblings agree with me. I feel horrible for us feeling this way towards her, but at the same time, when we try telling her not to, she never listens.
Like I said just now, I only needed a place to rant.