u/Eljollymexican

I’m late again, Ik. That’s really about it. 168 days down, ??? left to go…

Okay, in case someone says that my last post was just about 5 hours ago, it’s because I posted every late for that and well, here I am back on schedule now. It was a pretty great day today. Actually, it was a very great day today. There was a really sad two hours for me during this day, BUT!… it was quickly made up for wonderfully. The way it was made up for made me realize that I am actually cared about so much and that people actually love me as a person which is just… wow. Anyways, like I said in my other body text, I watched JJK with my mom and it was pretty fun. It’s so cool seeing my mom see all those GOATED moments for the first time. That’s really about it. 167 days down, ??? left to go…

I’m watch JJK with my mom rn so I can’t talk all that much right now. That’s really about it. 166 days down, ??? left to go…

My knee felt like it hyperextended or something on Friday and now ever since, I’ve been feeling a weird sensation in my knee. It’s like, it doesn’t necessarily hurt but I can feel it, y’know? It’s kind of hard to explain but I hope you can understand somewhat. These past few days have been pretty good as well so that’s great. I don’t really know what else to type other than the school year is almost over finally. I gotta lock the fuck in though. Finals are going to be fucking Hell again next week. That’s really about it. 165 days down, ??? left to go…

I don’t really know what to talk about to be honest. Today was a good day but nothing much of substance. Actually, what the fuck am I talking about?! There is something of substance! One of my cousins graduated from university which is absolutely fucking awesome! She had a party at her house and me and my family went and it was a pretty good time. Holy shit, my phone’s at 2% right now and I still gotta brush my teeth. Thank goodness I’m in the bathroom rn. That’s really about it. 163 days down, ??? left to go…

I’ve been slacking off with these posts and posting them late and I’m so sorry for that but last night was just so fucking GOATED. So basically, one of my friends (who I’ll call #1) was talking about getting a lightsaber for his birthday coming up and then he mentioned my lightsaber that I haven’t opened yet. That gave me a really good idea to unbox it on call with my camera on and holy moly, it was so fun. I spent quite a while building it and one of my other friends (who I’ll call #2) was getting pretty mad that I wasn’t watching a tutorial to make it but then I said something like “the people who made those tutorials had to figure out how to do it themselves so here I am” and then he said “so dumbasses like you can make it” and that was a responsible response. I then said something like “I’m apart of The biggest group of idiots for a reason” and my other friend (#1) said that I was finally putting meaning behind the name. Anyways, after a long while of setting everything up, the light saber eventually turned on and #2 left after little later. Meanwhile the whole time, #3 was screen recording everything and that’ll become important in a little bit. #1 asked me if I was able to make it a double bladed light saber (because it came with two sabers) and I was able to make it. The question was whether or not it could turn on both blades so I went outside and it was very dark out (no shit, it was the middle of the night) and I turned it on but only one side turned on so I was pretty bummed out. After like less than a minute, I found out I just didn’t press the button of the one that didn’t turn on correctly and then they both turned on and I celebrated like a Tusken Raider. Now remember how I mentioned that #3 was screen recording the whole thing? That’s important because a few days ago, I showed him how to make videos gifs on CapCut and when #1 found out that I showed him, he said that I basically gave the devil the key to heaven (which is the best analogy ever because of how true it is). Anyways, he made a lot of gifs of me while I made the lightsabers and they both said that I had Speed level reactions. Last night was so GOATED and fun so that’s why I couldn’t post last night because I forgot to do so. Man, and to think that this is just a summary of a summary is insane. That’s really about it. 162 days down, ??? left to go…

Yeah, idk what to type here the than that I’m a little late, to say the very least. 161 days down, ??? left to go…

I can’t fucking believe that I’m posting this meme but here I am 😭. I don’t really know what to talk about in the body text. The lasts few days have been pretty good overall but every single one has had their lows and today was no different but hey, what can I really do? Geez, it’s almost Friday? Time’s flying by too quickly. For all I know, I’ll be a middle age man with three kids before it feels like ten years have passed. That’s really about it. 160 days down, ??? left to go…

So, uh… I thought I posted this last night but it looks like I didn’t. I had a whole body text written and everything but I’m at school right now so I obviously can’t do that. That’s really about it. 159 days down, ??? left to go…

I know I said I’ll yap about my day in yesterday’s post but I’m too lazy for that rn. That’s really about it. 158 days down, ??? left to go…

Yeah, I’ll type how my day was next post. That’s really about it. 157 days down, ??? left to go…

Let me get the good part out of the way first. The UFC fights today were pretty fucking awesome, especially the co-main event and the main event. The co-main event was awesome because it was just such an awesome, fun fight. Joshua Van is so GOATED, I love watching him fight every time. The main event between Strickland and Khamzat was amazing to watch because of how insane it was. You genuinely need to be a fan of the UFC to understand why Strickland winning was so insane.

Aside from that, let me talk about the bad part of my day. The bad part actually happened before I started writing the body text. I never really talk about the truly bad stuff I go through but man, this one was just different than usual. I won’t say what it was, only God knows what it was, but I was so disgusted, truly disgusted with myself. I was so disgusted with myself that I went to the garage bathroom and threw up. But the thing was, I couldn’t even throw up, I have an empty stomach, so when I did throw something up, it was a bit of stomach acid. Boogers were also falling down from my nose and into the toilet in long strings and it made me want to throw up even more. Once I looked in the mirror, I saw that there are marks or bruises or whatever the hell they are underneath my eyes from how much my face contorted while throwing up. While throwing up, I was just thinking about how this addiction of mine has been tormenting me for over half my life. I had thought of killing myself in between because of just how lonely and miserable I felt because of my addiction. I promised to myself and to God that I would truly try my best to truly fight against the temptations but every single time I get those temptations, I just fall into them without any resistance. I feel like I really failed myself and God. There are scissors in the bathroom so I could’ve easily gotten them and you know… But what would be the point in that? Why would I ever do that? Why would I ever throw away the life that I was given like it’s nothing. Sometimes I feel like I’m worth nothing but that isn’t true. We are all worth something, we all mean something to someone, even if doesn’t feel like it. Life is hard, really hard, it’s never easy and that’s what makes it truly beautiful. The hardships of life and enduring them no matter how impossible they are is beautiful. Life is beautiful. You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you’re also going through an addiction and feel guilt and shame for what you did but truly want to change, that’s all that matters. What matters is that you want to change, that you want to have a better life for yourself and everyone around you. If you work hard for that, that’s all that matters. Sure, it will be a hard journey but you’ll get there sooner or later. Man, listening to “If I Am With You” while typing all of this stuff is certainly an experience, lol. Once again, you are all beautiful and your life matters. And like always… That’s really about it. 156 days down, ??? left to go…

Today was an alright day. It’s finally the weekend, yay. I sat outside in my backyard on the grass with all the plants right next to me and the sun shining on my face while listening to “If I Am With You” and it was beautiful. I should do this everyday, it’s so calming. I have been listening to that song every single day for months now and it never gets old. It is such a beautiful song. I love the piano, I really want to learn it. Aside from that, I’ve made a little more progress with my Roblox avatar drawing. I’ll post it in the comments. That’s really about it. 155 days down, ??? left to go…

Today was good and then boring once I got home from school just like yesterday. I just ate and fell asleep and ate again, then slept for a few hours and used my phone for a few more hours and now here I am, typing in the body text of my daily meme. I should really stop taking long naps, they take so much time out of my day. I also didn’t really make all that much progress today with my drawing because of said nap. Also, should I start posting my drawings more often? I feel like it would be nice to do so. That’s really about it. 154 days down, ??? left to go…

Today was a pretty good day of school. Not really when I got back home, it was very boring mainly because I did next to nothing other than eat and draw. Speaking of drawing, I may as well just post a picture of what I have so far with drawing my Roblox avatar. That’s really about it. 153 days down, ??? left to go…

I’m not gonna really type much because I’m drawing my Roblox avatar right now. What is my Roblox avatar you might ask? It’s a SSJ2 Freddy Fazbear with Vergil’s outfit and Yamato along with a black furred Battle Beast cape. It’s so fucking cool, I genuinely can’t wait for when I finish drawing it. I’ll show you guys what I have so far if you want. That’s really about it. 152 days down, ??? left to go…

I am very tired and sleepy. That’s really about it. 151 days down, ??? left to go…

Day 150, half way to day 💯💯💯!!! Geez, we’re already half way to day 💯💯💯? Add just 56 more days to that and it’ll be an entire year of doing this. There definitely be one more year after that before the third movie comes out so I’m going to be doing this for a while and I’m NOWHERE close to finishing this. Promise you guys will be there for the final day? That’s really about it. 150 days down, ??? left to go…

Today was… A GOATED FUCKING DAY! I HAD SO MUCH FUCKING FUN WITH MY FRIENDS PLAYING ON THE GAME AND IT WAS SUCH A GREAT TIME! THEY ARE WITHOUT A DOUBT, LIFELONG FRIENDS! That’s really about it. 149 days down, ??? left to go…

Today was better than yesterday but man… I have just been so tired as of lately. I always try my best to be happy, to be silly, to be myself and I do but I still feel sad and lonely. There’s many things that contribute to my loneliness that I don’t feel comfortable talking about because of how ashamed I am of them. Those things make me feel so lonely, so hopeless, that sometimes I think I could just kill myself from how unbearable it feels, just make the feeling end. But let’s say I do kill myself, what would be the point? What would I gain from it? Nothing. No one ever said that life would ever be easy, that you won’t feel agonizing levels of loneliness and things like that. All I would do is end the life that God gave me, the life I was meant to live out, leave all the people that cared about me to mourn and be depressed because of my loss. I don’t ever want to do that. So no matter what life throws at you, make sure you catch it and throw it right back. That’s really about it. 148 days down, ??? left to go…