u/ElusiveReclusiveXO

Like the title says; anybody been through this? I was deep into my 30s before realizing that most people have a positive self image. I didnt think things through properly about how that particular aspect of parenting possibly ruining my relationship with my daughter, but it is. So often I wince or get shocked that she is so like me in her behaviour or even mannerisms - I absolutely HATE myself and have done so for so many years. Not just hate either, but a deep seated shame about so much about my self. And then to see those very same traits in my daughter.... Im ruining her. Im certainly not able to give her unconditional love. Anyone else struggled with this? I swear Im not a monster, just very very damaged. Theres not a day that goes by that I dont think too damaged to be a mom to this particular child.

what a fucking nightmare of a diagnosis. and would appreciate if anyone could share some of their experiences.

TIA

Do you have a separate prostethic leg for swimming, or are there any solid bags to put outside of your regular leg or what do you guys do?

ETA: Thx for your reply, all of you. Im not comfortable with swimming without it. Im still trying to cover up and kind of hide the fact that I have a prostethic leg. But Im inpired by all of you's reply

I was taught, through severe violence, ridicule, neglect and whatnot, that my emotions wherent valid. I have a dissociative disorder. Been really seriously mentally ill as a young adult. Ive tried a ton of therapy, but never felt safe enough to really feel my feelings. Im in the middle of a early childhood body/emotional flashback. What am I supposed to do, to get this awful panic/terror/sheer fear out of my system? I have throughout the day done some basic housekeeping, dissociated through being online, tried mindfulness exercise and am now just waiting for the day to be over so I can sleep it off and start over tomorrow.

So, could be a coincidence, could be a virus. Last week I got some devastating news regarding one of the few relatives Im in touch with. I knew her homelife was far from perfect, but I didnt know just how bad she's had it. Not just her homelife, but CSA by a familyfriend for many years, started very early. I went into a state of shock, for knowing her pain and horror, but also because I had a similar childhood trauma. Since then Ive been in a deep freeze state with a heavy head cold. I cant explain, but it feels like all the tears I should have cried are frozen inside of me and my body is sick due to my inability to feel my feelings and cry and grieve. Could it be possible?

Sorry, English is not my first or second language. SO, I am considering buying an Ikea Pax warddrobe, 35cm depth. However, I am not a fan of to hang clothes with frontwise. Is it possible to put in a shower rod lengthwise and use it with smaller clotheshangers? Would that work?

so, my main personality, my apparently normal self, is a highly compassionate and supportive adult. but there are parts of me that still reacts as a small child; immature, vindictive, jealous and a lot of envy towards those who are better off than i am (esp if they come from money and/or have family). this esp when Ive been drinking. I have to isolate more than I want because I cant always control what comes up. I notice I hurt others who actually mean something to me. its extremely frustrating.

how do y'all handle friendships with a fragmented self?