Is this reasonable?
To be given a deadline within a day to complete a scoping document for a new, complex project related to changes in law about something, and what this means for how my Department will implement it.
I was asked to produce something on this by my SCS, and deliver it by the end of Monday.
Again, with other deadlines set and to make sure it's ready for the grade 7 who will be working on activity from mid-this week.
I barely understand the high level email fwded to me on this, having not been involved at all in any discussions or meetings with the SCS.
I am feeling stressed out because I spent most of Sunday night working on complex documents to be somewhat free today to do this and that isnt even finished yet as its quite complicated to do that and not a simple 1-hour-and-done job.
Alongside this, my boss has been starting informal "friendly" chats with me, telling me shes noticed my output is lower (e..g im not working stupid long hours anymore), that i am "not as strong" as I think i am (weird comment to make about me), and if things dont change it could be formal (then denied this was said. Also told im still in the top box rating and had great feedback from stakeholders Ive worked with over the last year. But then told me not to go and "google this stuff about managers and performance after this chat" Received three in year awards last month as well.
All those comments she fed me were in the same 121. Couldn't give me specific examples apart from one document the boss had worked on that I hadn't. Shocked me because it was said in a monthly review and in our weekly/daily chats its not been flagged.
The same boss has previously complained to me about another colleague, calling him a "dickhead", "man with small willy syndrome" and "probably a dick because hes in a wheelchair". I mean fking outrageous and horrible. He wasnt an easy customer sure, but its unacceptable and the only reason why I didnt raise it is because boss is super popular with the masses and there is a power dynamic here. I am not sure i would have been believed.
Feeling really low these days. I am the only ethnic minority in the team and I can see SCS playing favourites. I could chop my right arm off and not get much or any praise. I havent felt like its a diversity issue until now, but I am starting to wonder- especially given the local election results- how people really feel about me in this team.