u/EmbarrassedAssist749

Happy mothers day mom

But im not happy

But I give the baths and feed her

Happy mothers day mom

But I just had to watch the culmination of 6 years of my childhood spent as a makeshift adult with a painted on smile

But I cry silently because no comfort feels better than yours

Happy mothers day mom

But this is the day I hate most in the entire year

But in the past four years you have mad me hate Christmas, Haloween, My own birthday, and Easter

Happy mothers day mom

But I would rather flunked out of school than ask you to help me with homework ever again

But im perpetually exhausted and sore from the weight of picking up the slack

Happy mothers day mom

But I think I would rather chew glass some days that let you hug me

But I miss every family member that has ever called you out

Happy mothers day mom

But you wouldn't be mad at all the adults going no contact with their parents if you weren't afraid it would happen to you

But all the times you ask if I'll resent you for the big decisions like leaving or staying with the other parent, i say no, knowing Ill resent you for smaller things than that

Happy mothers day mom

But all the nights spent protecting my brother from the screams are still wearing on me

But I just had to check if the baby is still okay after I heard that slam because I remember all the times I wasn't

So yes mom

Happy mothers day

Happy mothers day for the third to last time ever

There's no room for hunger

There's no more space around the perpetual lump in my stomach at every meal

There's no cracks to fill after the space became taken by worry

There's no room for hunger

There's no place to fill around the fact that my food has gone cold as I have made the determination not to eat it in the first place

There's nowhere for the food to go because the fact that they can see me eat it makes me full

There's no room for hunger

There's nothing left to fill after I see my reflection, because the reality of the mirror is so filling

There isn't space left for the food on my small plate over the disapproving comments

There's no room for hunger

There's nowhere for the food to go as I stare at the plate

The guilt will eat me alive before the plate is even empty

There's no room for hunger

There's no way to start eating when I contemplate how many calories I swallow by swallowing spit

There's no room in my bowl for food at this point because I filled it with shameful tears

There's no point in eating when I am the thing being consumed

There's no reason to start into the food when I know that my brain will win out in the end

There's no reason to start eating

There's no real reason to waste my time while I could be wasting away from lack of calories

There's no way into the locked door that is every swallow of food into my system

This is why hunger has no room

There's no room for hunger while the mirror continues it's rein of terror

There's no room for hunger over the words and stares of the superior people around me

There's no room for hunger while I look the way I do

There's just no room for hunger.