u/Emergency-Inside8114

Do I have a loose tooth?

The good thing about waiting for someone is that you have dead time you can use for another activity, if that doesn't stop you from doing other things, and of course, if you're not one of those adults who needs to stay busy with something that seems important.

The cat isn't in my room, and I haven't eaten any lemon either, so I don't feel the leftover acidity in my cheeks. The headphones in my ears are starting to bother me, and I can't find a comfortable position anymore.

I close my eyes and go somewhere else. I have an altered mental map of where I am, and strangely, it feels as familiar as the original. Help. Or so I think. I keep going.

I check the time and it's 8:49. It's late for me. The time is approaching when I have to leave this cage of heat. I put my phone down on the nightstand, where it should be safe.

Did I let the cat in? Of course I did, I remember now. No. It's a lie disguised as knowledge, but it doesn't hurt me. It's an animal, small, fragile. It won't do anything wrong. And that's what it did with me: it stayed there, at the foot of the bed, its head tucked between its tail and its body.

How do I know that if I didn't see it?

I know it was there because of the feeling in my feet. The body remembers things the eyes didn't see.

I close my eyes and go somewhere else. I don't want to fall asleep. Time on Morpheus's planet moves strangely. Dalí understood it better than me. I have to wait. But I keep going anyway.

I'm cold. I try to scream, I can't. I inspect my body, all of this feels familiar. I always start with my legs and my eyes. It's a trick I learned on my own. If my legs can't change position, and I can blink, or my eyes can focus and move at the same time, then something is approaching. Like a backhoe dumping its load on top of me.

Calm is crucial, calm is crucial, calm is crucial.

The bed isn't there.

I'm back.

It's gratifying. It's like coming out unharmed from something that would surely hurt you badly. But sleep consumes me, I'm exhausted. The only thing I manage to do is let myself sink, but I don't want to, I really don't want to sleep, just rest in my own way.

It's cold again and everything seems gloomy. Strangely, I imagine a castle, with leaks more like vertical streams, blue stones lit by candles at night, and butlers with whitish irises.

I'm back. It wasn't so bad.

Again that incessant struggle.

I give up and let myself go, hoping it's something good.

The cat is here. She walks toward me, jumps alternately from side to side around my legs, slowly advancing toward my head. She hides under the bedspread and drops herself onto my head.

I don't understand it, but it scared me. I wanted to ask for help, but that pattern again. I couldn't.

Why does it scare me so much?

I try to stand up. I walk toward the door about three meters away. I can make it. I barely reach it, moving as if my body won't fully respond.

I'm back.

I'm in the same place, in the same position as before, with that mountain of sleep.

She comes in and offers me lasagna. I leave the room and there are armchairs, a large hall, completely made of wood.

I'm back...

Did I lose a tooth?

I'm back.

It's 8:40. I'm right on time, and rested. Also puzzled.

I'll be uploading the dreams I've recorded. Feedback, comments, questions, or just words of encouragement are much appreciated :)

I'll be uploading the dreams in English in the comments below. I'll also post a Spanish version later.