u/EmergencyFew4492

*REPOSTED WITH EDITED TITLE AS PER MOD'S SUGGESTION*

Hi. I'm 17, in Arizona, and I haven't heard from one of my best friends since September (which was after a long stint of silence). We went to the same high school and saw each other every day and texted most days as well. She gradually stopped coming to school and I eventually found out through a teacher that she had been withdrawn. I'm not really sure how long it was before she withdrew because I was unable to attend myself due to health issues and I would frequently be absent for several days at a time. I have since texted, called, and DMed her, though not as much as I would have liked for fear of getting her in trouble with her mom, who is my biggest concern.

She used to talk a lot about her a lot and described her relationship with her as very inconsistent. I believe is diagnosed with either bipolar or borderline personality disorder (unmedicated, I think), and she alternated between being extremely affectionate and very harsh. When she still went to school consistently, she would regularly miss days because her mother was mad at her for seemingly very trivial things like forgetting to take the trash out. As punishments, she used to withold education, contact with friends, and threaten (as far as I know, she never actually did it?) to withold her life sustaining medication for her chronic heart condition as well as other chronic illnesses. According to my friend her mom also threatened physical violence on a couple occasions but acknowledged that she wouldn't actually go through with it lest she risk CPS getting involved.

My friend has an older brother who is living on his own with a partner. He bought her an emergency phone at one point because her mom would take away her other phone all the time and she felt genuinely unsafe. Calling it now results in an automatic message saying the number doesn't exist or it's been deactivated or something (sorry I don't remember exactly). Last I heard my friend was planning on moving in with her brother, but I think first they were going to go through some legal proceedings? I'm really sorry, I have very bad brain fog and my memory is poor.

So, that's all the background information I can think of, but I want to make it as clear as possible that I'm frightened of her mom. I've only met her a couple times but each time I met her, I was very uncomfortable by the duality she exhibits. She would be very sweet to me and then turn around and absolutely flame her daughter in the company of guests. From what I gathered, she's very manipulative and knows how to charm the right people. She has good social standing and knows how to present herself. I worry that even if law enforcement or whoever were to check out her place, they would just see a nice lady. She always talks about how much she loves her kids (she has a very loud social media presence) but the way she treats them does not reflect that.

Okay so to sum it up, I'm concerned enough (and feel like I've waited too long as it is) to consider bringing law enforcement into it, but I'm not sure if that's the right case of action. For one thing, I'm a minor, and the person I want to report is a minor. I don't know if that makes a difference. I also only know the address she lived at with her mom. I do not know her brother's address or even if she ever successfully got there. I also don't know if any of this is enough. I'm worried somebody is just going to tell me that my friend ghosted me and I should just accept it. If I thought that were the case, I would, but I'm so worried about her and I miss her so much. I just want to make sure she's okay.

If anybody made it this far, what should I do? Any suggestions or questions or things I should know? I'm desperate. I'm the only one who still thinks about her and I don't want her to be just another young woman of color failed by the justice system.

Hi. I'm 17, in Arizona, and I haven't heard from one of my best friends since September (which was after a long stint of silence). We went to the same high school and saw each other every day and texted most days as well. She gradually stopped coming to school and I eventually found out through a teacher that she had been withdrawn. I'm not really sure how long it was before she withdrew because I was unable to attend myself due to health issues and I would frequently be absent for several days at a time. I have since texted, called, and DMed her, though not as much as I would have liked for fear of getting her in trouble with her mom, who is my biggest concern.

She used to talk a lot about her a lot and described her relationship with her as very inconsistent. I believe is diagnosed with either bipolar or borderline personality disorder (unmedicated, I think), and she alternated between being extremely affectionate and very harsh. When she still went to school consistently, she would regularly miss days because her mother was mad at her for seemingly very trivial things like forgetting to take the trash out. As punishments, she used to withold education, contact with friends, and threaten (as far as I know, she never actually did it?) to withold her life sustaining medication for her chronic heart condition as well as other chronic illnesses. According to my friend her mom also threatened physical violence on a couple occasions but acknowledged that she wouldn't actually go through with it lest she risk CPS getting involved.

My friend has an older brother who is living on his own with a partner. He bought her an emergency phone at one point because her mom would take away her other phone all the time and she felt genuinely unsafe. Calling it now results in an automatic message saying the number doesn't exist or it's been deactivated or something (sorry I don't remember exactly). Last I heard my friend was planning on moving in with her brother, but I think first they were going to go through some legal proceedings? I'm really sorry, I have very bad brain fog and my memory is poor.

So, that's all the background information I can think of, but I want to make it as clear as possible that I'm frightened of her mom. I've only met her a couple times but each time I met her, I was very uncomfortable by the duality she exhibits. She would be very sweet to me and then turn around and absolutely flame her daughter in the company of guests. From what I gathered, she's very manipulative and knows how to charm the right people. She has good social standing and knows how to present herself. I worry that even if law enforcement or whoever were to check out her place, they would just see a nice lady. She always talks about how much she loves her kids (she has a very loud social media presence) but the way she treats them does not reflect that.

Okay so to sum it up, I'm concerned enough (and feel like I've waited too long as it is) to consider bringing law enforcement into it, but I'm not sure if that's the right case of action. For one thing, I'm a minor, and the person I want to report is a minor. I don't know if that makes a difference. I also only know the address she lived at with her mom. I do not know her brother's address or even if she ever successfully got there. I also don't know if any of this is enough. I'm worried somebody is just going to tell me that my friend ghosted me and I should just accept it. If I thought that were the case, I would, but I'm so worried about her and I miss her so much. I just want to make sure she's okay.

If anybody made it this far, what should I do? Any suggestions or questions or things I should know? I'm desperate. I'm the only one who still thinks about her and I don't want her to be just another young woman of color failed by the justice system.