Trenches
I’m deep in the newborn trenches with my baby girl and I don’t know if this is normal or if I’m struggling more than I realised.
Whenever she cries or gets really upset, I get an instant physical reaction — I feel sick to my stomach, panicky and like my whole body goes into stress mode. It’s not all the time and I’m okay when she’s settled, but the crying itself makes me feel awful physically.
She was premature and had a NICU stay, so I don’t know if that’s made me extra hyper-alert to every noise and sign she’s uncomfortable. I spend most of my day worrying about feeds, wind, reflux, sleep, weight gain, temperatures, literally everything. I feel like I can never fully relax because I’m always waiting for the next cry or problem.
Did anyone else feel like this in the newborn stage? Especially with a premature/NICU baby? Does it get better as they get older and less fragile?
I love her more than anything and I’m caring for her fine, but emotionally and physically I feel constantly “on edge” when she’s distressed.