Worthless life.
I'm in my bed. Fate won ten years ago. So I'm chilling waiting for my days on this planet to end so that I can rest from everything. Uncertainty, pain of wonder et all. Sionangi need ya life ata. I don't enjoy it. Drugs zilinikataa. Kuma sipendi. Sina hobby ata moja. I just scroll social media till my eyes tire I sleep, rinse repeat. A bit anti social so I'm always alone , talk to nobody. Yaani life tu Haina maana Haina meaning.
Then I wonder , those who believe in deity, you mean my mother did the most for nothing? I'm imagining the whole process of getting pregnant, giving birth and raising the child to adulthood only for him to amount to absolutely nothing. Yaani to that parent the gods must be unfair to her right?
That reality makes me question the whole idea of parenthood. Doesn't it mean parenthood is the epitome of gambling? We unawekelea bet hoping against hope that it'll be successful. Then chances are also inaweza ungua. Uzae mwizi, drug addict, shoga, Lele, ama tu mtu Yuko tu Hana mbele Wala nyuma. Msee hawezi amount to any shiet in life.
Non existent esteem and self hatred. Everyday beating yourself too hard. Hopeless. Faithless
Thank God I'm childfree, this world doesn't deserve a mini me, it'd be the epitome of cruelty on my part and recklessness.
Anyway nice lunch wasee. Life ijipe.