How to help two dogs coexist after resource guarding incident
TL;DR: My dog and my boyfriend’s dog had a bad incident over a ball after initially getting along, and now my dog is scared of her. Both dogs have some resource-guarding/reactivity issues in different contexts, and we’re trying to figure out how to safely help them coexist for walks, camping, car rides, sleepovers at each others places etc.
My dog is a Lab, and my boyfriend’s dog is a Great Pyrenees/Lab/Pitbull mix. They met for the first time back in October, and it started off really well, they played chase, swam together, and seemed comfortable around each other.
The issue happened while playing fetch. My dog loves fetch and brings the ball back. My boyfriend’s dog will chase the ball but doesn’t usually retrieve it. We brought two balls to avoid resource issues, but at one point his dog picked up a ball, dropped it halfway back, and my dog picked it up to bring it back. His dog reacted by latching onto my dog’s face. There were no puncture wounds or major injuries, and my boyfriend was close enough to separate them quickly, but it obviously scared my dog.
Since then, my dog is terrified of her. She seems like she wants to be friendly with him again, but he avoids her, runs away, and doesn’t want to interact. We’ve tried parallel walks and taking them to a neutral park, but he still wants nothing to do with her.
I also want to be fair and add that my dog has his own resource-guarding tendencies. He can be possessive of people. For example, if he’s being pet and another dog approaches, he may growl or bark. He also resource guards around food/people eating, so when we go camping, we put him in the car while people are eating to prevent issues with the other dogs around. So while the incident with my boyfriend’s dog scared him, I know both dogs have behaviors we need to manage and correct.
I know my own anxiety is probably contributing too, because I’ve seen her be reactive toward other dogs and I’m afraid something else could happen. I’m trying to stay calm, but I’m not a trainer and I don’t know how to safely rebuild trust between them.
My boyfriend and I both live active lifestyles in Colorado, so ideally we’d like the dogs to eventually be able to coexist for car rides, camping, hiking, etc. That said, we understand that may not be realistic if they can’t safely be around each other.
What steps should we take from here? Should we keep doing parallel walks? Avoid toys/resources entirely? Work with a trainer or behaviorist? Is it possible to rebuild their relationship, or should we focus more on neutral coexistence rather than friendship?
Any advice on how to safely move forward would be appreciated.