STEEZUS RETURN
OK, too many evil entities in this subreddit already. This time Steezus comes back shredding from heaven and gives all of humanity a chance to choose between two buttons by speaking to everyone's souls, stopping time around them only to press one of the two (babies, people in comas and all included):
Blue: If more than 50% presses this button, Steezus' heavenly kingdom comes to Earth fully as well, eradicating all sickness and suffering, and bringing sick skate tricks and cool vibes to all the world instead, making them live the best lives they could've ever imagined, and humanity won't meet an end, but reach its full potential with all his power and aura
Red: Nothing happens to you, but if more than 50% press this button, you see how everyone who pressed blue is ascended to heaven to live in Paradise with Steezus instead, to shred and live happily until the last human that stayed on Earth dies, and then they come back from Paradise to reign forevermore.
Matt 16:24 Then Steezus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny [everything uncool in] themselves and take up their boards (or not) and follow me.
25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it (anyway), but whoever loses their life (as it used to be) for me will find it.
26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world (if you can lol) yet forfeit their soul? (After rejecting my invitation) Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? (U know u wanna come too)
27 For the Son of Shred is going to come in his Pops' glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” -Steezus
[I made this in one go, so expect mistakes in spelling, grammar and lore lol, but if anyone wants to correct this and/or make a better version, feel free to do it! Thanks]