The recruiting cycle for 2027 is already moving, and after looking through hundreds of resumes and running dozen of mock/real interviews this month, I need to clear some things up.

Most of the advice on LinkedIn is garbage. It’s written by HR people who don't actually sit in the room when the final hiring decision is made. If you are applying to high finance, here is why your resume is getting thrown in the trash, or why you’re failing the superday:

1. Your resume reads like a job description, not a highlight reel

I don’t care that you "learned how to use Bloomberg Terminal" or "assisted the team with data entry." Every single candidate did that.

• What I look for: Impact. If you don't have hard numbers, you didn't do anything. Instead of "Analyzed tech stocks," write "Built a 3-statement DCF model for a $500M cap tech acquisition, identifying a 12% valuation gap."

2. You nail the technicals but act like a robot

The "technical barrier" is just a filter. If you can't answer how a $10 depreciation change affects the three financial statements, you're out. But if you do answer it perfectly, you don't automatically get the job. So does everyone else.

• The final decision always comes down to: "Do I want to be stuck in a room with this person at 3:00 AM on a Friday?" If you sound like you memorized a guide word-for-word and have zero personality, the answer is no.

3. Your "Why Investment Banking/PE" answer is completely transparent

If you tell me you want to do this because you "love fast-paced environments" or "want to work on complex cross-border transactions," I am silently rolling my eyes. You want the exit ops, the prestige, and the comp. We know.

• How to fix it: Tie it to a specific deal our firm did recently, or a specific sector we cover. Show me you actually read the news, not just the vault guide.

4. You give up after one cold email

I see students send one message on LinkedIn, get ignored, and assume the firm is a dead end. My inbox gets flooded. If you don't follow up 4-5 days later, you don't exist to me. Following up isn't annoying; it shows you actually want this job, not just any job.

Stop treating recruiting like a lottery and start treating it like a sales process.

DMs are open if you want a quick, brutal resume roast or have questions about superdays. Don't just say "hi," drop your question or your anonymized resume link.